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Onsen whispers...
Me, in a legit onsen, back in 2024 ### Yesterday, I finished a very long day with a nice soak and sauna session in our hotel’s ‘onsen’. (It’s not legit spring water, but with all the rock formations around the baths, the incredible sauna and refreshing plunge pool, I don’t really care). It was busier than I’ve seen it and I think aside from me, there were maybe twenty Japanese guys. While sitting in the hotter of the two very large baths with my eyes closed, I heard a couple of people splash their way into the bath and, through squinting eyes, spotting a couple of young guys (early 20’s?) across from me. Closing my eyes again, after just a few moments, I started to hear them whisper and snigger. My anxiety ramped up immediately. As the only white guy there, I obviously stuck out like a sore thumb. I began to reflect: what obvious cultural faux pas had I made? Had I ‘followed procedure’ before getting in the bath? Yes! I had scrubbed myself, very publicly, for all to see. Was my towel in the water? No! So what were they laughing about if not my poor onsen navigation skills? Obviously, the state of my body. Oh. Thanks, brain. 🧠 My mind then conjured up images of what they must be looking at as I sat naked in the bath before them. Ugh. It got quite uncomfortable, very quickly. Mental comparisons of my fifty year old self with their youthful perfection. My weight with theirs. My bald head with their perfect hair. I thought about leaving there and then. But then psychologist-me kicked in and started to challenge my thinking: what else could be going on? What other reasons could there be for their laughing? How would leaving benefit me? How would staying be good for me? How could I surf this discomfort instead of trying to avoid it? Before I could get up and leave, I saw an older guy lean in and speak to them quite sharply. They immediately stopped laughing and looked quite embarrassed. So. Maybe they _had_ been mocking me. Maybe they’d been swapping filthy jokes too loudly. I’ll never know. I’m just glad I decided to stay and spent another 45mins alternating between the baths, sauna and cold pool, reflecting on what had happened. Lesson one: it’s not always about me. Lesson two: even if it _is_ , what’s the big deal? Lesson three: body confidence is a work in progress. Onwards! 🚀
