7 Random Bangers

don’t rub your happiness in my face there are so many hotter things you could be rubbing in my face

[jamming handfuls of flesh into my shapewear] nobody wants to see how the sausage gets made

i’ll be honest i never realized how much i have in common with expensive dogfood

florko cooking here

i have many close friends and family who are religious in a variety of faiths and my official position is that i judge people by their actions not their beliefs however my unofficial position is that they all sound like fucken morons

ok so yeah sure my best years may be behind me but on the flip side they weren’t really that good