Top recent posts by Web Professionals on Bluesky

it's so funny to see America's health insurance companies be like "look. If there's one thing we love it's denying you care. but we ran the numbers - and we cannot BELIEVE we're saying this - and it's cheaper for us to just pay for the vaccines than deal with you going to the ER."

congrats to your grandma in heaven on finally being able to fulfill her fantasy of being eiffel towered by paul newman and robert redford

Saved you a click: they beheaded a horse

time for me to man up and fill this out

I know that a lot of people are sad about the Robert Redford news, but for me it's a little more complicated considering he once offered me $100 to sleep with my wife

once again, the NYT readerbase is Not Buying It from Ezra Klein. rarely do I see a comment section so poised so vehemently against an op-ed — especially not one from a liberal. Sorry Ezra

please do not allow this shooting to unfairly color your opinion of people who text like they're writing a letter home from the civil war

Ta-Nehisi Coates has a predictably wonderful essay about the political class's reaction to the death of Charlie Kirk. to quote a post I saw on here a few weeks back, "we're gonna need a bigger Reconstruction" web.archive.org/web/20250916...

The Sting is a very good movie but something that restrained and dry making $1.8B is fully bonkers. Hypothesis that Butch Cassidy audiences had simply never seen two men as hot as Redford and Newman in the same movie before, and when they switched facial hair all bets were off

Just got fired for sharing a clip of Robert Redford killing an old woman because it was "taken out of context" and he was "actually playing a kind and gentle personification of death itself"

he’s always showing off how long he is

it really is a miracle anew every time i see it

(nineties surfer dude "bodacious babe" voice) salient points

People really hate all of this, it’s why I keep saying that the administration is doing things as propaganda out of weakness, not strength

I think it’s bad that there are people out there who believe you’re gonna get black bagged for signing up for an Indivisible protest with three million other people. That feels like people are afraid of the regime in a way that both overestimates its power and grants it more power.

how many people were suspended today for hoping robert redford rests in piss? oh, interesting.

people who still post on twitter I guess have at this point made up their minds but if you’re looking for another good reason to dump twitter and tiktok maybe consider how fun it would be to make these bad investments for some of the world’s most annoying boneheads

We should abolish real estate agents but we should also keep putting up pictures of slightly odd looking people with slightly odd sounding names

Just thinking of the time Trump suggested that we inject people with bleach to cure Covid Thanks for re-electing him everyone

now ive been in the workforce for a while, so I'm not surprised that some of you might not be aware of this "hack": when your boss says, hey, are you easily replaceable by a computer, you say no. you don't say yes. that is what we call "a whoopsie"

The “don’t sign up for protests” thing is just an outgrowth of the Online tendency to one-up other people on how much you care. Oh, they’re protesting and signing people up for it? I’ll show them by claiming that’s wrong and you can care more by not signing up.

Some egg-shaped mfer sits on a wall and we’re supposed to feel bad when he falls down gtfoh

apparently doing this to sorghum too, shifting purchases to brazil. i hope brazil uses the money to make bolsonaro's prison cell moldier.

detoxing from my cell phone for a few hours by staring unblinkingly into the centre of a gigantic sparkling diamond

Due to Texas redistricting, my District now sends four tributes to The Hunger Games

One cool law would be you can't buy a gun with credit

me: i want to sleep in a human-sized hotdog bun 911: sir that's.....ok actually that sounds great me: so who do we call 911: [shouting in background] we're checking now

(while being swarmed by hornets) Sorry! Just seeing this!

Hi I'm Axl Rose, welcome to Dave & Busters. We've got fun and games!

*heavy sigh, clearly annoyed* you tell ‘em Kathy

at 69 likes I'll release the cursed post that just appeared to me

Bluey episode where the dog family visits a museum filled with 1,000,000 year old extinct human skeletons

After getting shot Charlie Kirk is -10 with independents. None of this “we’re going to call your boss and get you fired” stuff is going to work the way they want it to.

Finally saw SUPERMAN. It was... how can I put this? It was like a really entertaining 2 hour ad for gum, but instead of gum, it's being a handsome sweetie.

he should have his dad be someone important

My plan tonight is to fire up Borderlands 4 and turn all of the cognitive areas of my brain into a smooth runny paste

wife asked if this was a “shooting game”

how far are you guys traveling for groceries

My Impostor Syndrome was recently deemed valid by an objective panel of industry experts.

Hello i interviewed Kelarnie from the current season of Bake Off AU (my job) for fun! Kelarnie rocks. She doesn’t have a Bluesky (she is not annoying/old) but check her and her bakes out on ig/tiktok and the great Australian bake-off! (binge/foxtel)

We live in an economy entirely driven by the spending of the richest people in America — everyone else has seen their purchasing power stay flat. I wonder how this affected people's perceptions of the economy over the past few years. I've certainly felt like I'm spending more on less, and /

fuck yeah bro lets all go completely insane

they say "women can have it all" and yet when I'm done with my skincare routine and putting the children to bed I simply do not have time or energy to write my unhinged manifesto

D even if it was "just" India. everything else is icing on the cake

Judge: I sentence you to life in prison Defendant: NOOOO MY ONLINE PRESENCE

everyone calling me a liar needs to reread the email. not one word about a dog that does math. you think this press conference is a waste of time? well i spent five years teaching math to a dog. ultimately we're all mad at the same guy

If you dream about work they should have to pay you

"In fact," continued Patel, "there was one note that explicitly said, quote "do not offer minors to donald. he hates that and told me very specifically that it is "not his bag" and i respect him so much for that." end quote."

Jason Alexander was born "Leonard Kravitz" and Lenny Kravitz was born "Boom-Boom Bontemps". Even in all its madness, the world can be such a magical place.

jay just called. i’m the ceo now. she saw the grandma post and stepped down

i didn't say my stats are good i said they're maxed out. and it's true those numbers will never be higher

the proper use of Discord

Something I appreciate about ALIEN: EARTH is that it kinda posits that Dallas breaking quarantine to let Kane inside in ALIEN wasn't so much one person making a mistake as a societal-wide issue of almost everyone being an absolute dumbass because they live in a world controlled by corporations.

I think this is going to be extremely bad for trans people

My girlfriend cut my brake lines she’s such a Scorpio

that’s the amy brown guarantee™️

two very frightened men trying not to piss themselves live on a podcast

I wrote about the leveling and deranging effects of the Trumpist snitchscape, and the awful content creation imperatives governing this awful moment. defector.com/the-united-s...

i certainly have my misgivings about capitalism, but some days – every once in a while, usually on my commute into the office – i do see the appeal of hiring children to do all the work instead of me

who else up reading their kids the books they remember from their own childhood as being glowing hopeful stories portraying the flawed but ever-promising multiracial egalitarian american experiment and getting fuckkin ... depressed

can't stop thinking about the structural similarities between Trump's deportations of refugees to countries where they'll face torture via a third country ostensibly independent from the US's jurisdiction, and the CIA's practice of extraordinary rendition under Bush, Obama, and Biden

some grandpa overheard me telling the lads that my telling the checker i needed 3 bags when i only needed 2 had been "a failure of geospatial reckoning due to negligence" and he turned to the lads and said "always listen to your mother, you've got a smart mother" thank you sir

[walking into store] greeter: oh i’m just looking me: anything i can help you find hey what the now hang just a second

oh my GOD bro

Sometimes I get a little tired of being stuck in the stupidest timeline

Genuinely do not think my Slack pfp could be improved upon

everyone is so impressed with LLMs ability to generate JavaScript that they try to start applying it to things like Kotlin or Swift and then rapidly find out the hard way that there exists orders of magnitude more training data for JS

incredible news for American vegans though

[a new thing pops up to be mad about] sorry but right now we’re booking out like three months on things to get mad about. take one of these buzzers and, when there’s time to get mad about this, we’ll call you up

somehow despite my love of literally every person involved and shows exactly like this i had never watched TASKMASTER before tonight but rest assured i am now watching TASKMASTER

Who else thinks jf and db could run the FBI at least as well as kash patel and Dan bongino if they had access to the same amount of cocaine

Me, when I do it: That's how you do it 😎

a good way to not have to worry about getting added to annoying lists and getting spam is to, when asked for your email, say "i don't use email" people fucking hate this response but it is actually not legally required for anyone to use email

𝐀𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑜𝑛, 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑑 After equipping this item, you may not remove it from your hand. You must gaze deeply into it with every action and be driven mad. Messages from the damned come to you in haunting whispers and chilling images. Every year, you must purchase the newest version.

I was cleaning the cats litter box outside on the deck and she got mad I guess bc she pissed in the tub and now I keep saying to her in a texas cowboy voice: You just brought piss to a shit fight, little lady

i need a sign for the front of my car in reverse so it's legible in mirrors that says NO WORRIES. I KNOW ITS HARD TO TURN LEFT HERE. I CAN SIT HERE ALL DAY

Yeah you can try but there’s not a single jury in DC that’s going to convict and you’ll just embarrass the DOJ further

what is even the given justification for asking people to RSVP for protests. i know it's just for mailing list reasons but that can't be what they say. why do they say they need a headcount in advance or ability to contact all potential attendees. what is the use of that

been watching “the summer i turned pretty” and we could have wrapped all this up in one season if they would just realize they’re supposed to be a throuple

A reminder that these guys in general and this guy specially believe their employees started expressing opinions because of an actual mind virus spread via phones

thinking about making a double batch of butter chicken next week specifically so i have leftovers to make pizza

i love going on bluesky trying to find all the funny stuff that keeps me from dooming while also discovering way more stuff to doom about. the Noble Treadmill

(all of the homies, laughing at you) his ass is not pure of heart!!!

my haters have laid siege to the city gates

Four! A ha! Four total economic crashes in my life time a ha ha!

Thinking about this a lot tonight

a crazy co worker who is apparently a fan of last week’s dead guy is in the process of spamming everyone in the company with insane bullshit 👍

yes, which means Wonder Woman's problem isn't with killing, it's with killing Hitler specifically

i like to make friends on letterboxd dot com

It’s up there with design for living for “hey there’s a real easy solution to this love triangle you guys”

ice cream trucks should link up with door dash youre already riding around with an ice cream sandwich just bring it to me please

EDITOR: hey, did you write that description of J. Wellington Wimpy like I asked? WERNER HERZOG: *mournfully* yes

the dinner wanters

one of my biggest games as a kid was Tribes 2, and in a lot of ways, the whole "primarily online multiplayer shooter" prefigured this? it's *playable* now, but it's not the same game in any meaningful way. for live service games, they won't even have the ghost of it.

doing BMX donuts around a koi pond and emptying an illegally obtained SMG into the tranquil water — Bashō

Im fully weeping. Little marmalade is curled up next to me and purring while I read this and I just exploded into full-throated sobs. Psychic bomb ass poem. Two headed calf ass poem. bsky.app/profile/mizz...

this little bit of construction popped up on our deck last week. for the life of me i cannot get a non-blurry pic of the spider but wow is it gorgeous. for reference, this web is about four feet tall! i believe it is a Neoscona orb weaver but not sure the species