Top recent posts by Web Professionals on Bluesky

“Mattel’s commitment to storytelling and cultural impact makes this partnership special” is my secret code phrase to let you know I’ve been kidnapped fyi

I could easily withstand the power of the Dark Crystal, I would simply not allow it to drain my living essence *looks at the Dark Crystal one time*

The way to understand the second Trump administration is as a content generation machine. They aren’t implementing fascism, they’re creating fascism-flavored content. They aren’t implementing real policy, they’re signing executive orders to post about them. Anything that gets attention is the goal.

do not despair. your beloved franchises are now under the careful stewardship of the brilliant minds behind Qwikster

It’s bad for your mental health to know stuff

i wish neil armstrong had brutally flubbed the moon landing line. that's one small step for moon. one small step ON moon. for a man. one giant man.. 's leap. one GIANT LEAP for moonkind. moon man. one giant moon for manmind. you can hear buzz rollin around in the lander, just howling

Ok I played through HORSES and I guess I don't have any problem with this sort of thing being banned from the Steam store. CONTENT WARNING obviously:

I'm not saying life is a vicious circle. But it may be a cruel rhombus. Or a callous trapezoid. At the very least, life is a bloodthirsty parallelogram

WERNER HERZOG: naeow.... zhe.... jingle-haupe.... has begaune

no jury on earth would convict me for running over the grinch with my car

it is insane how much this guy falls down the stairs

it is legitimately difficult to imagine anyone making a positive case for this in literally any sense

Going back and showing Nick Drake inflation porn and seeing if it affects his songwriting, only to catch a glimpse of myself already doing that. I fall to my knees as I realize we've always lived in the world where he saw it.

ME: wow this painting rocks MY PEDANTIC CAVEMAN BUDDY: uhh huhu me think you mean this *painted* rocks

Sandwich too structurally sound? Avocado to the rescue

A Grinch bit him. The transformation has already begun

It was a rotten idea from the get go, of course - but I think another issue is that Meta is a remarkably terrible software developer in general

WHAT'S THE HAMBURGLAR'S FUCKING PROBLEM

It's for their audience of mutant goblins who over time have learned that anything not made specifically for them can still be enjoyed by deliberately defiling it

The phony "controversy" over this rests on the idea that it was only supposed to apply to former slaves. But that's stupid because the authors of the amendment knew what slaves were and they knew what immigrants were, and could easily have said so if they only meant for it to apply to one group

The only time I experience racism is ordering Indian food when they say "how spicy, 1-5" and I say "5" and they say "five?"

damn really makes you reflect on the numerous other times the US government and its proxies have said "terrorists" were using "human shields"

Liza

Just saw a clip of Robin Williams clowning the hell out of Sepp Blatter during the 1993 World Cup finals draw and man there really has not been anyone like him since, huh

we're listening to chipmunks christmas in my shitty horrible car and some of the speakers are blown out of course so on some tracks you can't even hear any of the chipmunks and it just sounds like an album of an insane man periodically yelling at chipmunk hallucinations he's having

I do not need another camera but look how chic she is in all black

Favorite thing about this is that he clearly has been made to think that ozone is super oxygen

Pig People In Charge

a bruised and bandaged Rand Paul finding out the neighbor who creamed him is a fellow chiropractor so he's required by professional code of conduct to describe his injuries as an exceedingly rare and unfortunate outcome of an incredibly safe, and totally legitimate, routine medical procedure

I don't think everything's been this weird before. Unprecedented strangeness imo.

The thing about conspiracy theories is that you never end up believing just one, you keep going until you believe in all of them. It's a great reason not to start!

the baby learned “please” this week and now when she’s bringing me her fourth applesauce from the cabinet she says “APPLE SOT! pease”

reasonable minds can differ and it was possible they were waving an anti-aircraft missile or promoting gender ideology

yeah i guess you could say that my community sees me as a cornerstone th— wait, no. what's the neck one. millstone

What if you die and you hate being dead

andy ngo hospitalized in yet another dairy based leftist terror assault which saw him almost brutally struck near his head by a violent agitator's so-called "baba"

My wife left open the gate to the yard and I ran out into the street. I could have really hurt myself.

i am about to take two young children to their father's work christmas party which takes place in a bowling alley of all places and begins exactly at their bedtime and which we can't politely get out of because we didn't go last year and they just gave him a bonus 👍👍👍

Genuinely thought someone had photoshopped this to do the dumb tiny hands gag

today i got tapped to make staff meal at my part time job for the first time, here's eringi mushroom and bacon shoyu butter spaghetti

Josh O’Connor in WAKE UP DEAD MAN, a real “ohhhh I get why this guy is in everything right now” performance 👍

yeah dummies. getting a doctorate in education is like when a ghost told some guy all the Bone Secrets and he started telling people how to do stuff that medical doctors strongly warn against and then they made a club and their club gave them all Real Doctor Certificates

Wow! Some interesting choices for the Donald J. Trump FIFA Peace Prize trophy!

Oh, it’s because all the tech stuff started out as hippie stuff, then it was new age stuff, and the through-line up until the Web 2.0 era is fairly fanatical devotion to a flowery, utopian libertarianism

*extremely cold as ice voice* Folks,

“goodnight goodnight construction site” readers may be interested to learn crane truck is canonically jewish

We could have a wealth tax, but the Liberals have decided what Canada really needs are more forest fires.

As soon as Gorsuch got on the court he started giving Roberts public wedgies to the delight of Thomas and Alito. Once it became a 6-3 court, Roberts slowly quit fighting to maintain the illusion of reason. It no longer mattered and made him look like a pussy to MAGA zealots who already hated him.

This is a brand new level of Being Mad that can only be created by AI

the thing I don't understand is like. if there's no birthright citizenship then who is a citizen??? that's literally the reason I'm a citizen, that's the reason the president is a citizen!!

When I post something and immediately delete it first thing in the morning

the second my cats start meowing at me when i'm ALREADY in the MIDDLE of feeding them i start screaming and throwing a huge tantrum like it's The Bear

looking ahead to january 1st, do you think mamdani's first act as mayor of nyc will be to fire secretary of state marco rubio, stop the pentagon from selling weapons to israel, or have the us join the international criminal court?

Just to be fully transparent with everyone, I am not Ian Bogost

MARK CUBAN: clever idea, but costs are too high. sorry, i'm out KEVIN O'LEARY: i disagree with mark, it's a terrible idea. out! GUEST SHARK GRUGG (INVENTOR OF THE WHEEL): grugg look at numbers, not see path to profitability. and for that reason, grugg out ROBERT HERJAVEC: grugg raises a great point,

Bought the moka pot a couple months ago as a "we have lattes at home" solution and I have to say it's done the job. I can't imagine something that cost $300 more would produce results that were $300 better.

When someone your age dies of natural causes it's like um....excuse me?

Finally got my beard to line up right I think (please enjoy the roaring youtube fire)

apparently they're using the super strong materials found in charlie kirk's neck to make a space elevator

in france they just call them le murders

chris was always my favorite. joey has had the most surprising career trajectory to me, and it's so sad justin timberlake died in 2003. RIP king

I wrote about Ken Ohara's photography exhibition "Contacts," a prescient, humane, extremely fun collection of photos people took of their lives during a bleak national moment. I haven't really been able to stop thinking about it for weeks, now. It rocks. defector.com/make-yoursel...

*monkey paw curls

had to stop seeing frosty. I was freezing my balls off

haha i just noticed that the cardinal directions on the compass rose for the map in the endpapers of this old winnie the pooh book are P O O H

i have also purchased warner bros discovery

[paul mccartney voice] simply. having. your mom.

BREAKING: ambassadors from tubi and fubo have arrived in roku city, sources

he looks like he’s presenting a drug bust

really cannot stress enough that you must for your own happiness kill the part of your heart that finds any professional chef in any way attractive

absolutely dying to know what he thinks soccer is, what happens in a match, briefly describe the ball

if i was one of them dervishes i'd rotate very slowly instead, sort of as a comment on our relationship with whirling, the social pressure to whirl in dervish communities, etc... it's not a statement AGAINST whirling, i'd clarify in an interview, only against whirling frivolously, without intention

I don't buy expensive underwear brands because when the client inevitably sees the waistband I don't want them to think I'm charging too much

Oh great Netflix is gonna make “Smiling Friends” be about Trauma

whys he look like the grinch

Vanity Fair and I are also parting ways.

Fucking great. That thing in the forest knows my name now and keeps saying in the voice of my mother.

i have made a coffee cake

when there's a bunch of angry posts i don't understand on the TL

Celebrate Christmas in World of Tanks with Benedict Cumberbatch

It's a highly competitive field but Bill Cassidy has to be one of America's top five jamokes

probably the worst place to be when an episode of belly itching hits is at a baseball game

can that giant identify all kinds of blood or is the blood of englishmen particularly stinky. or fragrant? is he mad at ANY guy in his house and happens to be able to identify the nationality, or do the english have fartblood.. would he be like "hey i smell a chilean dude, wassup" or just not notice

he won't let me get up

kind of laughing at the idea of how hard henry ford had to blow to inflate the first car tire

took the lads with me to get my covid shot today. i've been taking them with me to see every vaccine i get and having the pharmacist talk them through all the steps and explain everything, i'm hoping this makes them less terrified of their own vaccines, although it has not worked yet

Frantically explaining to a group that I wasn't being creepy, I was "doing Blue Velvet" but they don't understand

it's always so refreshing to find a brand that really stands for something and remains true to itself over time

Power Wash Simulator popping up on Apple Arcade could not be more huge for me

This is clearly AI? None of the text makes any sense

Well my dinner plans fell apart so heres a story about my husband: he destroyed a piano at a wedding reception at Claridge's

my smaller son likes to lick all the butter and jam off his biscuit and then ask for more butter and jam and i say "okay but this time eat your biscuit" and he says "okay mama i promise" and then licks all the butter and jam off his biscuit and asks for more butter and jam

Stranger Things should have been an anthology series where they found a new way to rip off, sorry, pay tribute to Spielberg every time through

one of the main things i am seeing reported as “good for the economy” in the last day or so is to please send me exactly eleven hundred dollars