Top recent posts by Web Professionals on Bluesky

A man who publicly was doing something which, when done wrong, can cause graft-vs-host disease, an autoimmune disease which can attack, among other things, your GI tract, now has an autoimmune disease which is attacking his GI tract. What a coincidence.

Oh man, putting England and Norway, our palest countries, in Miami in July feels like a cruel prank

Tapping my wrist impatiently to signal that I am fully ready for the James Corden World Cup Postgame Program to start. Let's get to the good stuff!

One thing that I think is under-considered in this is that AOC was a bartender before she was a congresswoman and I have to wonder if she saw Platner and immediately went “I know that kind of guy”

there appears to be some confusion over whether senator mcconnell is living or dead, which is understandable because how could you even tell

What kills me about this guy is that it was such an easy call right at the outset, and yet here we fucking are

Not gonna pierce these baking potatoes with a fork, in fact I hope they explode. I hope it takes out the whole neighborhood.

As much as I hate to say it because it’s cheap webforum meta discourse, the strongest correlation to Platner support wasn’t ideology, it was if you still frequently use X, The Everything App. I would hope that would lead to some introspection about what remaining on there does to your judgement.

There’s Englishmen laying all over the pitch, it looks like Verdun out there

Tilly Norwood has died. The thumb drive she was stored on fell out of her creator’s back pocket and into the toilet, which was then flushed.

This sounds absurd but remember we now live in a world in which a man who can't play Diablo unsupervised says things about going to Mars in five years and his share prices go up

I hope this doesn’t negatively affect voters’ opinions of guys who got nazi tattoos

Ah, if only there had been some kind of sign. Some sort of indication. A symbol, perhaps, that might have hinted that things would go terribly awry

swanboy.com/comic/jester...

POV your monastery is cooked

I could probably eat ten, twenty madeleines without thinking

Greggs mentioned

This is what I wrote about Platner back in October of 2025, and I think it holds up okay. The popular movement that grew around him in Maine is real and inspiring, the guy himself was always fugazy at best. At this point I just hope the former outlasts the latter. defector.com/what-job-is-...

hard to see graham platner as anything but an actual psy-op: guy with personal ties to DC gets plucked from obscurity to run as an avatar of populist left-leaning masculinity while almost exclusively being propped up by the most noxious centrists in political media

My husband was once grumpy cause he didn’t like Pacific Rim when everyone else in the group did so he said it was bad cause the bungling scientist characters will discourage kids from the sciences

The only just outcome is to sit Balogun and slot him in as tonight’s starting pitcher for the New York Mets in Atlanta

Boomers began formally denying responsibility in 1989 with Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire"

One problem I have with every recipe is where is the step for crying

have mastered sports watching by getting on the exercise bike so when I see a player completely gassed sweating bullets grimace at the camera I feel like I’m on the team

the last thing a cod sees before becoming lutefisk

Freakin, Congressional Republicans!!!!!! Thank you

Buddy, I can tell I watch a lot more sports than you so let me say: You have that exactly backwards

*goes back to work* Gosh what is this sudden despair that has come over me?

He would’ve held off Christianity from taking Hålogaland for a few hundreds years

I thought for sure the Nazi tattoo and allegations of abuse, having such reasonable explanations, would have meant there was nothing else in this guy's past. Also I'm a big time moron

Saying you are going to put "Tilly Norwood" in a movie is like saying that the star of Shrek is Shrek

6yo: Wanna see me do something cool? Me: No

Haaland enters the match and he’s got his eye on Northumbria

(pulling at my collar) oh sheesh, you’re telling me those were your plums in the ice box? and you’re saying they were so juicy? wowee. and so sweet? aw geeze, I’m just hearing it for the first time right now

it’s time for multiball

magic the gathering card called “frost berserker”

He sounds like Tom Waits pretending to be the queen

anyone who wants to run for office is probably a psycho of one variety or another. not great.

Platner dresses a little nicer with each subsequent scandal. Soon he will be in a Tuxedo.

Prediction markets are bullshit but that’s not going to keep me from laughing at the Dems chances of taking the senate seat in Maine jumping like ten points on the possibility that Platner’s gonna drop out

when i heard about a guy who liked committing war crimes in Iraq so much he took the only job that would let him keep doing them as a civilian, but now sort of weakly says it was bad, i went "Finally! A politician who's not animated by violent psychosexual power fantasies!" but somehow i was fooled

From a month ago. Anyone saying they didn't see this coming should retire or can't be trusted.

my girlfriend turned into a worm and then dumped me like two weeks later because it's "super creepy" that i get "rock hard" looking at a worm

ok there's something genuinely funny about inviting everyone in hollywood (except blake lively) to your wedding and then making them sit there while you do your twenty minute vows EACH

The death of metaphor means the guy who wanted to live forever is dying of literal self-absorption, living in some wishmaster ass times

if there were any justice in this world we’d never hear from the pod save america guys again

Months and months of Homer and Bart chasing the runaway BBQ while shouting “It’s just a little ___, it’s still good!” What a mess

look guys there are a lot of rumors swirling about mitch mcconnell right now so just a reminder about how important it is to make sure you're only sharing information that is properly sourced verified and credible or at least really fucking funny

Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't think Minneapolis is basically as expensive as New York City. I know what real estate costs in both of those cities.

We should have sci fi doors by now. Getting sick and tired of Door Classic

Kinda fucks up the whole idea of a world cup if the president can make phone calls to get officials' decisions reversed

Shame to be so isolated from the levers of power since I have all the answers, oh well

That Activision/Blizzard acquisition looks more and more like the biggest Wile E. Coyote scheme ever hatched

posting like i've lost the favor of a loving god

me: i thought we'd look at some books until papa gets home iggy: no i only want to play on the porch me: ok what if we took some books out onto the porch iggy: that would be a quite lovely idea

CHARLES PICK UP THE ROYAL PHONE

I can't believe they gave Tilly her own movie after she encouraged the key grip on her last set to commit suicide.

democratic leadership heard mitch mcconnell is brain dead and are optimistic they can convince him to switch parties

That’s ballgame AND it gives his diehards the ability to say that the establishment is out to get him forever instead of confronting what he did. Everyone gets what they want.

Will somebody PLEASE get Billy Bob his FUCKING. ULTRAS

There’s a new Tillyverse out that’s supposed to be nuts

tilly norwood was killed last night in a fiery crash in the hollywood hills. she was 1 year old

Grain of salt obviously, but my buddy works for the Maine Democratic Party and says there are already moves in motion to replace Platner as the nominee with a pulsing black ruby that animates the insatiable malevolent dead.

our fridge broke and everything inside spoiled so we have no choice but to eat pupusas tamales y platanitos con frijoles y crema from chepe's until the new one arrives ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sad

The congress is eternal and unchanging, staffers will determine the senator’s divine will via augury and the reading of entrails

There’s gonna be like twelve minutes of extra time on this, it’s gonna be awesome

about a decade ago I got a Big Dipper tattoo with one too many stars in the constellation and within a week I was at the dermatologist getting that extra dot cut out of my skin with the mole remover

Well, looks like I wasn’t wrong and that’s really too bad

Welcome to Philadelphia

I’m sticking my finger in your eye and you HAVE to like me

popping on the hat that turns me into a political cartoon about america's gerontocracy and wandering around the country club where i live looking like a cryptid's ghost

Hey man I think you might just be an antisemite

Getting sick and tired. Not of anything in particular.

Just found out that Graham Platner had a Kik account and I am officially putting us on DICKCON 3: ROUND HOG. Increase readiness for a dick pic above normal readiness.

Oyster Farmers right now

Oh damn so we actually were cursed

Absolutely miserable showing by the USMNT in circumstances that are going to keep everyone angry long after the game. Worst possible outcome.

mitch mcconnell won’t see your jokes about how he’s already dead (they only have x in hell)

Bluesky would be better if people could properly distinguish between a little razzing and a deeply held belief, and the World Cup is proof of that

there's an old joke where a doctor's on the witness stand getting challenged on why he was so sure a patient was really dead and says it's bc his brain was on my desk before conceding that he might still be alive and practicing law and i am thinking about this joke today FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER

halftime. wanna shit in a box to check for disease?

Watching Spain/Portugal

The superior player of the match? The girl reading this

the guy who got kicked off love island usa last night told his boys "i'm not even mad i'm getting booted bro, i'm mad i'm not finna see y'all every day" while crying and honestly i think that's very sweet

you ever see a photo of a dog online and then you see a photo of the same dog taken by someone else and you realize that the online dog might have more friends in real life than you do

fuck it, release the tigers

Starting to think the only way to get politicians to stop proposing fossil fuel infrastructure they know will never make money and will be stranded within a decade is to force any politicians who propose them or signs off on them to invest all of their own retirement savings and pensions in them.

I understand the silent panels are meant to convey "Swan Boy is jestin' around" but my brain stubbornly refuses to read them as anything other than "skanking to ska interlude"

Ok mutuals most of us need to keep doing Platner. The Nates will take World Cup. Assorted Magazine Contributors have McConnell pretty well wrapped up. We're good on Tilly Norwood, if you still have jokes we will need them again in six weeks.

er waiting rooms should give you those little buzzers like u get at applebees

Mexico has had control but they sure haven’t done anything interesting with it

very difficult to do "natural consequences" when the lads love the natural consequences. one of them just falsely claimed to have been the one who crammed sticks in the air purifier so he could stay home from the playground and help papa fix it with the screwdriver

I'm the hospice nurse whose job it is to open and close Mitch McConnell's mouth with my hand like a puppet so the news thinks he's alive. And when practicing, I've been having him tell me how warm and genuine I am. And it means a lot to me! I have fallen deeply in love with my handsome dead senator.

they should make an app that connects you with someone who’s already stopping at the gas station on the way home who can bring you a little treat

wow if you thought it was already rough for usa supporters, here's lalas at halftime