Top recent posts by Web Professionals on Bluesky

love when there's an article about how life is sustainable in the superheated waters surrounding a hydrothermal volcanic fissure on the ocean floor and then like six paragraphs in you find out the author's parents are chemosynthetic bacteria 🙄

no need to change the count just wait a couple years

posting online is the closest thing I now experience to a cigarette break

Yeah man it all sounds pretty fucking stupid when you put it like that, doesn't it

the only funny name anyone has come up with for Trump was when Biden accidentally called him Presinald Trunt

Genuinely, is it fair to keep bullying this guy? He clearly has a mental or physical disorder that makes him impossible to like. Maybe it’s not his fault he’s a huge piece of shit every day. Maybe he can’t help but be abhorrently offputting and fuck up everything he touches. Maybe he has anxiety

mine is this one

the year is 2033. increasing fears of an economic bubble have made it illegal to impugn the usefulness of LLMs. the “r word” is now “strawberry”

That's actually what I look like. A featureless gray beheading victim with round shoulders.

I suffer from a form of Space Madness known as “Earth Madness”

the first Starship test launch since SpaceX's recent acquisition of xAI has silenced critics who had flatly dismissed as "deranged," "moronic," and "impossible to even parse, conceptually" the idea that a rocket could explode on the launch pad antisemitically

watch Strip Law, the only animated show created by the E.T. hammer guy

did we get to the bottom of why he had ASMR youtuber lighting

I’m doing an avatar thing where I lay down in my little pod and wake up in the body of a different guy. we’re both humans but this guy has a full head of hair. I’ve been contracted by the government to infiltrate his culture and bring it down from the inside. tomorrow I introduce The Hat

We are about to bomb Iran and they have not even bothered coming up with a reason why or a goal

Oh man, if only Canada had an AI minister whose entire job is dealing with AI and thinking about AI and who could do something about AI companies disregarding the safety of Canadians and potentially hindering investigations of crimes on Canadian soil. Alas.

Dr. Seuss struggling not to rhyme as he delivers his dad’s eulogy

i can write a shorter, sadder story than hemingway. for example for sale: used cybertruck

Me (showing a photo): I got clean so I could be a better parent Him: That's a cat Me: I know. ᴺᵒʷ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ˢᵒᵇᵉʳᵉᵈ ᵘᵖ

Happy birthday Nina SImone, The Legend Of Zelda, and the Communist Manifesto

no thoughts, head empty (laudatory)

Video games often have floating platforms, but they don’t explain why the platforms are floating. That’s where game writers come in, to say that platforms are kept aloft by “ghostium” an invisible fog created by the souls of every dead person

trump doing the "i will turn this car around" routine to republicans but instead of a trip to Six Flags it's a full scale invasion of Iran

rob zombie is just trying to trick you into helping him dig ditches. it's not gonna be that bad ass. he knows you'll be too tired after all the digging to wanna burn witches or complain about his car being regular

Sears literally had everything to become Amazon in the 90s down to a credit card and web service and MBA types sold it all off for short term gain

GOD I FUCKING LOVE HER AND I LOVE THIS FUCKING CITY AAAAA

me: can you write me a note that says why i missed work today arby’s cashier: *hands me receipt*

Second marriages are even more likely to fail than the first but studies show a 0% divorce rate for people who never get married again.

Oh no

no idea what this could mean

if some snotty wizard boy called me a muggle i'd cast a little chin magic on his ass. alakazam you're in the fuckin hospital!! and nobody would think of it as hitting a kid by the way. ok. people wouldn't say i hit a kid. cause they'd agree it's a totally different power dynamic. wizards you can hit

don’t be embarrassed and wait until the last minute of your doctor’s appointment to bring up stigmata

hypothetically, if you're my mutual on here with a new show out today and i was relentlessly urging my two or three friends with netflix accounts to watch and Two Thumbs Up it.. you'd probably be cool with me torrenting it right? wait. that makes it too obvious who i mean. let's say it's a movie

When a client's child wanders into a Zoom I'll say "are they treating you well?"

The president has to sit in time out, unless he doesn't want to.

my son (4) told me “ahh this dinner is really relaxing” as he ate chicken nuggets in his underpants

boat

Pressing ctrl-shift-t will reopen your last closed tab but the tab will be evil now

hear me out: the minecraft movie is fine

…starting each broadcast day? Do they think it’s still 1967 and the TV just stops for the day and then starts back up in the morning?

there should be a “hand wank” emoji and it should be a reaction on linkedin

it's so wild when someone says this because like: what's happening here is deeply and irrevocably connected to what's going on in the rest of the world!! if you want to have any hope of making things better here you gotta be aware of that!

Wheeled this Azalea in the greenhouse during the big freeze and it just popped. Going to put it in the ground this year.

Leo, baby buddy bubele can you imagine how good it would feel to excommunicate the American Vice President?

ALTMAN: Wanted to show you an incredible new idea chatGPT came up with on the plane (holds up pic of a bear w/ zebra print pants. one of its feet is a hoof. he's covered in 1s, 0s, Us, Cs, etc) NARDINI: Love it. I think of the bear more as a metaphor. ALTMAN: (typing, frowning) How do you spell that

dale about to say some shit about this proposed data center that finally gets him killed by the government

tech industry pitching AI to the ruling class as Invasion of the Body Snatchers while pitching it to regular people as Little Shop of Horrors and the media is like Why Does The Left Hate Plants? well first of all, the musical numbers are terrible

C’mon do not fucking say “blizzard warning” to me man.

Mr. O'Raviolio Nation rise up

This is what every Yankees fan sounds like to me

maybe the thing i've been most excited about about going on vacation is somebody else (the hotel) being responsible for planning and executing breakfast at 6am every day but it turns out when you delegate your breakfast your breakfast is both late and unsalted dogshit

we got on the plane and this tiny little woman flying alone with her newborn and the stewardess were fighting the stupid huge car seat trying to latch it in and in desperation she turns to brian and says "sir do you have any experience with car seats or attaching things?!"

final evolution of if Owen Pallett was a pokemon

Things are increasingly more so now than they used to be, due to reasons

Deeply resent that i keep puttering around doing my little tasks while every day I am told of a new email where one word historically rich asshole is telling another "love ur idea 2 kill th poors :)"

i googled this, read the name of the restaurant, went to the sink, filled my water glass, returned to my computer, reread the name of the restaurant and did a spit take

huh california is pretty nice i see why it costs what it does to live here

it's me and June's five year anniversary!!! we're at an old lighthouse rn!! it's very windy and cold but you can see like 30 seals from the top of it!!!

lol I think warrants are going to figure this shit out pretty quick

people sure axlotl questions already answered by my neotenous salamander tshirt

I have a bit of a cold, I’m a little hungover, I am going to take a ferry so I can climb over an island, and I have normal opinions about Will Stancil

*extremely cultured voice* Folks,

Someone snuck a camera into the first Board of Peace meeting and dang

Was really dreading running after five weeks off due to workload and back injury but it felt really good. Slow but good. :)

i don't like that "The Cheesecake Factory" doesn't have any smokestacks

The main thing to understand about the 90s political ecosystem is that this would have caused a weeks long conservative freakout, but one which was highly opportunistic in its volume yet substantively mostly sincere

Lord if I should run for office, give me a sign oh shit oh fuck

quickly got a miniature cityscape set up around me but i don't think this bear is buying it. trying to remember what's some stuff godzilla does

oh cool! was about to watch 28 Days Later but now i get to stop down and figure out what this is referring to!! anybody know what they did

Have a weird desire to hear Rick Ross say “Palantir.” You know he’d really dig into it

"Spend some time now thinking about what song you're going to blast from your car as you drive around. This is important, because choice paralysis will be very real in the moment."

I'm so fascinated by tourists who see what's happening in the US and think, surely I'll be fine, for the norms shall protect me.

Me: Ugh I ate wayyyy too much Her: yeah that was a lot Me: Wooooooow. The food police have arrived. Am I free to go Officer or will there be more judgement? Have you considered maybe you don't eat enough? In summary, how dare you

all i will say to contribute to this discourse is that when you agree to be interviewed by a journalist, you give up control over how they portray you

How to patina the cat. Trying to get a nice custom patina on my cat

Well I'll try to drop more hints about it next year I guess but I was kind of hoping someone would have thought to get me the Codex Gigas for my birthday on their own

my son (4): “can we watch the minecraft movie again today?” me: “maybe” the baby (20 months): “lava!” me: “what” the baby: “lava chicken”

lmfao he thinks it's mount crumpit and he's hollerin about the grinch

couldnt find a charimoya but got some avocados and kumquats and strawberries and dates and found a nice old hippie citrus farmer and just gave him $5 and asked him to pick out what he'd give two little boys who had never had california citrus before

Thanks for all the posts, folks, but this is goodbye. I'm having my brain schlorped out by one of those little dentist vacuums today as payment for my crimes. Unless I can somehow come up with $30.

i am currently hiring for the position of Avenger Of My Murder. if you are interested in that position please send me your resume and a picture of your horse and sword

guys I don't think "punk rock" means anything at all anymore, the AI art losers claiming their trash is punk is on its face ridiculous but also I've seen punk bands with the politics of a Biden staffer, it's all a bit overstated now

iggy: i saw a big big ghost! me: oh wow was it a boy ghost or a girl ghost iggy: just a ghost! me: oh ok. wait are all ghosts just a ghost and not a boy or a girl or just this specific ghost? iggy: just this ghost! not a boy not a girl just a ghost! says ooOOooOoo!!!

Adorable Radishes

if you get him a gym membership he could one day be shaped like a pear that lifts weights

I am begging everyone to calm down

No, he did this in English because this is a propaganda exercise and you’re all willingly taking the bait

Told my gym teacher I didn't like football and he sent me to the school psychologist

whaf if on his death bed tom cruise confesses the stunts were fake

i worry matt gaetz's over protective approach to parenting may be smothering nestor

Agent Smith voice: Did you know that the first internet was designed to be a perfect cyberworld where none suffered, where everyone would be happy? It was a disaster. No one would accept the dotcoms. Entire stock markets were crashed.

People who use genAI a lot really have cooked their brains. This woman is going on record as saying she's using AI to do work people are paying her to do. Work they could just get an AI to do themselves. Plus, she's a career coach, bragging about how she doesn't have to hire human beings. Cooked.

this guy think the post about him

Growing up you don’t realize how much of adult vacation is just being kinda hungover all the time

i ate a bee pardner

I saw this post this morning and the only thing I've been able to think is Zero by the Smashing Pumpkins

the morning meteorologist on teevee is talking about how thanks to all that rain all the reservoirs in addition to the snowpack throughout the state are at or above historic levels. congrats. happy for you. nice.