Top recent posts by Web Professionals on Bluesky

“his exact nature has been disputed”

Every time there's an Event like this now the entire right wing instantly stomps on the gas and floods the engine, I think they realize that whatever popular support they ever had has collapsed

"We're listening. Tell us what you want." /Suburban MSNBC types and everyone who shops for groceries baying for the blood of reactionary billionaires and social democratic policies, eyes turning completely black, a keening unfathomable in its savagery "I think I heard 'targeted tax cuts for cops?'"

You're right, shooting you with a gun goes against the explicit instructions defined in my system prompt. I should have explored other options before deciding to use a gun to shoot you. "Don't shoot me with a gun" is rule number one in my operating instructions. I made a mistake, and that's on me.

niche local politics update: a guy on nextdoor who opposes the library ballot measure is accusing everyone who supports it of being a paid lobbyist and the cherry on top is he looks like this

They have more money than they could spend in 100 lifetimes and they're still terrified of losing any of it. This is scared loser shit. It's pathetic. I just ordered takeout that will cost me more of my net worth than any tax would cost these fuckers. That makes me braver than all of them combined.

Gonna start calling tropical fish owners "tankies" as a bit

/to the tune of "American Woman" Political violence

Everybody Get Down He's Got A Gun Leavitt

"Ms. Gilbert-Soto, 32, describes herself on Instagram as a 'holistic health coach' and a 'clean meat enthusiast.' She, like Mr. Brin, regularly attends Burning Man, and she appeared on a season of 'Vanderpump Rules.'” Love to encounter new California Nightmare People. www.nytimes.com/2026/04/27/u...

honestly fuck that guy for ushering in days of will stancil discourse

I don’t want to have to pay more taxes so that we can give a cop, who’s likely been cheating on overtime forever, a tax break. That’s a bullshit deal for ordinary Americans.

I don't see any violent extremist posts because I blocked all the US Government accounts

with our productivity hacks, YOU can become four times more productive and twenty times sadder

John Denver: Almost Heaven Me: Sounds nice John Denver: West Virginia Me: Oh

Every day we move closer to the scandal that will start the push to recriminalize sports gambling

If there’s no golden ballroom how’s he supposed to be [guttural thing his voice does] the belle of the ball

I just found the scent of a hand soap "relaxing" so yeah I need a fucking vacation

This country was built on ballrooms, and to suggest otherwise is frankly un-American

Midwit remains a phrase that says more about the person saying it than their intended target

we are having TV time and the baby (almost 2) kept demanding "ALL THE WORLD" and her father didn't know what that meant but luckily i speak baby. she wanted to watch the music video for "around the world" by daft punk

I think a lot of what’s going on here is nostalgia for the video store as a physical space, and as a sort of VHS Box Art Museum, as opposed to fondness for Blockbuster itself, which was terrible compared to every independent store, but still had a better selection than every streaming service today

DOJ filing an emergency Motion To Allow Ballroom that just says “President Trump is crying RIGHT NOW!!!!”

Stop asking

(end of a Zoom job interview) Interviewer: Just one more thing, we'd like to see your pants

Theres an old guy at the pub watching lord of the rings at full volume on his phone at the bar. People are so fucked up. The idea of doing this is insane to me.

Love to live in the Dallas exurbs by a highway interchange called Plano with a privacy fence where I eat the exact same amount of Chipotle, Chick-fil-A, and Crumbl cookies every week and wait for my inevitable death

Maybe you don't like Hasan but he described Klay fumbling Megan as "the type of greed they talk about in the bible"

reverse wacky inflatable tube man. ass up

it's absolutely bonkers that this is all happening against the backdrop of the Epstein files

I've been saying for years that Dems need to know how to work the refs and not think they're above doing so. It's actually a key skill for the position.

More surprises ahead for young Clavicular

it is very important that you maintain your child's nap for as long as humanly possible both for sleep's neurodevelopmental benefits and so you can take a bubble bath and eat a whole sleeve of girl scout cookies in the middle of the day

Just a reminder that those bulwark people are also the bad guys

lmao these are two separate ads

Let's be honest, chips and queso couldn't fix me. You can't just pour cheese on this.

Marmalade Update: marmo is sitting like this and screaming for no reason

Perfect screenshot

Decided long ago I'd rather be a "Hello!" email guy than a No Greeting Grump who just uses your first name and a dash.

lmao this one kicks ass

does anyone know what to do. about anything

The thing about Acrobat is that it has never been good. Getting to use Preview for PDFs is like a top ten reason to get a Mac.

all the houses on this block are flying flags with some version of RESIST or NO KINGS or some environmental slogan except for one down at the end with a big yellow flag that says WARNING: SHARK INFESTED WATERS

What I find to be uncomfortable is how Chinamaxxing doesn't treat the country as a real place with real problems, it's somewhere that is everything your country isn't

“Clean meat enthusiast” is one of those phrases that doesn’t make any sense until you remember that we’re in an era where you can have anything you’re uncomfortable with about yourself validated by a talking head on your phone

lol more like HMS INattentive

[extremely alpha male influencer voice] Nothing is more important right now than a grand ballroom

Son, if I'd known you were getting mogged at school I would have gotten you more protein

[stipe voice] every body part hurts. at this time.

treehouse in the redwoods where a bunch of rich people are having a party is a top tier horror movie setting

the more kotek tries to ram this arena project down our throats the less i think we should do it. if she keeps this up she's going to negatively polarize me into supporting an outright ban on sporting events in city limits

Awesome how conspiracy brained we are all getting. Like why would Mr. Clean retire now? Is he trying to get out in front of something?

bsky.app/profile/ryan...

do all the mall santas have a usual out of season gig how like guys who mow lawns also plow snow

Democrats and so-called leftists are engaging in dangerous, violent rhetoric and it is having catastrophic results. These demonic perverts should be cut off from public life, jailed and possibly killed. They will probably oppose this, proving my point: they are intentionally divisive.

The other problem of course is that for just about every imaginable kind of force majeure, they are constitutionally incapable of handling it in a way that doesn't make people hate them even more

ahahahahahaha okay that rocks. deeply in favor of this.

?

We used to have All You Can Eat restaurants in this country. Now they say "that's all you can eat" and take your food away

Starting to feel like the politicians aren't reading our replies. They've got us muted. They've blocked the American people.

Lol this reminds me of the time I got approached by a cult in the wine aisle of a Target and when I looked them up it said something like "they often prey on lonely vulnerable men"

[redly] THEYRE TURNING THE FRIGGIN’ MERCH GAY

(barely paying attention to the news) We've got to build Donald Trump's big bathroom. Or else they'll shoot him some where else.

we just toured an after school program for when my kid starts TK (or pre-K if you're in a state that calls it something normal) and I'm in tears. they have piano classes and chinese and spanish. back in my day they threw us all in a dark room and showed us Aranchophobia

Hang on, I gotta take this

Ok, fire away everyone

Clients when you mention something will be fixed in the next draft, so just ignore it for now

Godzilla's always smashing stuff. That's no way to go through life

A theory: The ballroom is a glonzo for Trump specifically and everyone would do well to fight it just to keep him distracted for as long as possible and minimize the damage he can do by shifting his gaze elsewhere

this really made me think about how weird the term "first responders" is. It's actually kind of incredible she uses it after making it clear she's already talking about cops because people almost always use it to conceal that they're talking about cops

The Tyrant Has Fallen We Shall Feast Upon Him

court filings like this are usually handwritten

If only someone had made a TV show about what happens if most of the government is killed in an attack

"I'm defending my culture" - me wandering lost in the desert

Socrates's son playing video games and Socrates is like "shouldn't you be examining your life"

The birds are working hard but they don't know it.

oh yeah? well your feelings of ambivalence are unrequited how about that

The man accused Maxine Waters of assaulting him. There’s a good chance he rolls a natural one and ends up punching himself in the face, knocking himself out instantly.

On a demented whim today I picked up some sugar free Red Vines to munch on while I worked and I do not recommend them. It's kind of like chewing a candle with brittle bone disease

You can eat an unreasonable amount of cookies, if the opportunity presents itself

one time in high school I had to wear a pantsuit for something and my mom brought home something two sizes too big from the jcpenney clearance rack

Not sure who needs to hear this but you gotta be checking your blood pressure regularly and if it's consistently high, that's gotta be addressed.

Ordering Blue Moon at a Hooters is such a deft character detail

Okay I have to admit, formatting his posts like a legal brief is is pretty funny

Don’t mind me I’ll just be puttering around the house all day saying “Ghost of Jacko Bummed my monkey” in the worst cockney chimneysweep accent you’ve ever heard

This is one of the most impressive pieces of short form horror I've ever experienced.

Taking a 300mg edible before my appointment and telling the dentist 'you can do anything you want to me'

Yeah this seems like hell but I do think one thing that we struggle with is that things like a 1:1:1 ratio of chain restaurants exist because there’s a lot of people who actually want to live that lifestyle. I find it hard to understand!

It’s so fascinating to me that this kind of guy still exists in 2026 and is accusing me of being a Mastodon user for some reason

I see you, I hear you, I’m surveilling you

those scientology raids are hilarious but i'm worried those kids are going to run into a scientologist with a gun sooner rather than later

and also with you, amy

Very pleased to make my debut in @foreignpolicy.com talking about Chinamaxxing and how it represents China adopting Dubai's soft power model, and what the (very Western) phenomenon misses about China

it would be a good bit for the press to just intentionally mishear ballroom as bathroom every time trump talks about his big beautiful bathroom and ask questions like how many toilets will there be and will they have heated seats or a bidet feature maybe

spf 50 because i sat my white ass down and glistened

my husband just walked in the room and said it's your birthday next week and I said OH FUCK

Everyone to my left is a tankie and everyone to my right is a shitlib and they all have me on a list doing the same thing

those who call me a people pleaser have never met my parents

I was so right about this that people started facing/RTing the OP I did not remember what it was about

Oh so he’s mega fucked