Top recent posts by Web Professionals on Bluesky

People forget that Cancer (the disease) donated like $300,000 to the Trump inauguration fund

I think I take a lot of the RFK stuff pretty personally because as a Dipshit-American I have a lot of quasi-magical beliefs about how my body works and it really pisses me off to see someone turn this joyful practice to evil

Reminder that concerns about "echo chambers" are a fake idea, we simply do not owe access to ourselves from anyone who demands it, least of all on a site that is designed for leisure and entertainment

congrats to canada but also it seems a little unfair that you guys won’t ever elect an evil fascist demagogue to shock US into voting for a liberal

Here's the thing - I pay $5.80 round trip to get in and out of Manhattan. Duffy isn't asking for freedom, he's asking for me to subsidize the costs of him driving into New York as a taxpayer. He wants a free lunch because he's a special beep-beep vroom-vroom boy.

They're calling it "the best idea in baseball history." defector.com/the-national...

the filmography of David Cronenberg, chronologically

It's not a surprise and it's indubitably true but it's still stunning to hear Canadian election analysts referring to the American president as an existential threat

Another Times interview with the world’s biggest dummies

I get that Gerry Connolly is a good dude but isn't this exactly the reason a bunch of people were saying it was dumb to put him in charge of the oversight committee a couple months ago

tfw the council of rabbits has decided your fate

I hope the first woolly mammoth they resurrect kills somebody

Draymond following up some classic "my feet are here by accident and you can't prove their not" Draymond stuff by just whiffing an attempt to kick Tari Eason in the nuts. Hate to see a legend decline like this.

Thinking about how it took ten years for median household income to recover after the Great Recession and getting that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach like I'm about to go down a hill on a roller coaster

goddamn dude the plane is not "too close to the edge" i'm not moving the plane

finally a prime minister who'll join my professional network on linkedin

go ahead, make your website worse. it’s only going to make me post harder

a straitjacket you can eat your way out of

Obviously this is flatly illegal

Yeah, bad news for Trump if people start catching on to the idea that tariffs aren't free money you magically get from other countries

Sick of people telling me to “calm down” and “release the hostages”

Do people seriously not know that Shania Twain is Mark Twain’s granddaughter?

the best thing America is doing for the world right now is "serving as a warning"

A Heartbreaking Jork of Staggering Peanus

"Why do you have autism and why do all your children have it?" Emily, let me introduce you to this concept they start teaching in 4th grade science classes- it's called 'genetics'

Item(s) total: $23.82 Shipping: FREE Sales tax: $1.19 Wokeness, DEI, and Marxism Charge: $62.91 Order total: $87.92

the market dominance of scrolling vertical video apps is completely baffling to me, a guy who lives in constant terror that his phone will make a noise

Trump is arguably the most tri-state area guy in the world at his core, and if you live in the city you learn that tri-state area guys double down on acting tough when they feel threatened or anxious. That culture trickles down. This isn’t coming from a place of strength, it’s sweaty as hell.

Running at a moderate speed into a Steven Adams pick and instantly dissolving into a cloud of pale gray ash.

dummy thick cthulhu is here for you in these trying times

My favorite recurring NY Times features is Crude Drawings of Nitwits Next to their Asinine Thoughts

Another indelible image of the silver screen

Thinking of Zorak and smiling warmly

in the 30s and 40s everyone was scared that if white people smoked weed theyd go crazy and commit miscegenation, instead of what I assume 1940s white people were actually doing when they got stoned (sitting on a stool in the middle of a completely empty room and occasionally saying "gee... swell")

things girls don't know so stop asking us: - the population of a city - which direction a highway goes and what states it goes through - how full their car's gas tank is currently

We did it! Spite! Spite! Spite!

Honey bluesky is down I need you to validate everything I say 12 times

haven't heard from the dilbert guy in a while. hope he's cooking up a new post about how he's been swindled by a pig in a poke con "several times"

The funniest outcome to the self-imposed trade isolation would be the collapse of all those supplement based pryamid schemes which would result in Utah returning to a state of nature

hahahahahahahah (god I hope he loses)

I'm so pumped, let's pull an 1814 and convince the British to burn down the White House again.

when you’re definitely not in a cult

You know this already, but a per capita cap is a major cut to Medicaid. They're trying to have their cake (tax cuts for billionaires) and eat it too (not get blamed for cutting Medicaid). We can't let 'em. www.axios.com/pro/health-c...

I’m just one perfect kickflip away from getting my wife back

This older Quebecois woman on the CBC panel is great

I don't think that this is Amazon caving? I think this is the Trump administration blowing something on a small section of Amazon out of proportion because they're really freaked out about how people are going to respond to tariffs. Aliexpress is doing the same thing.

Well son it all started because a bunch of people got mad at having to be considerate, and now soldiers can beat you to death if they think you have an attitude in the bread line

can someone come pick up this dusty ass mall santa and give him his nightly seroquel

I hate the trend of calling Pierre Poilievre "PeePee". Use your imagination, people. Call him a piss lord. A urine swiller. A tinkle rat. The piddle king. But using his initials as an insult is just so elementary school. C'mon now. We're Canadian. We're better at insults than that.

My take: Hit dogs holler and they're afraid everyone's gonna do this. They should.

try not to get sucked off by the tornado everyone

work for fascism and get no asscism

Pierre Poissonlouvre has passed away

(liberal bostonian guy) give me the clickah, I need to see if mahk cahney won

Sorry I missed your call, I ran away screaming when I heard it for unrelated reasons

In BC, you still have an hour and a half to vote.

they should make me the CEO of mcdonalds. i have a really good business idea: either make the hash browns taste like shit or make them $4, but not both

Thrusting into the spotlight, these women and their swelling, turgid roles

All the news orgs are projecting a Liberal government, either majority or minority. Today was a win for Canadian democracy, but more importantly, it was a win for spite. FUCK YOU, POILIEVRE, YOU SOULLESS PISS LORD!

Eat shit, fascist Milhouse. Eat shit.

I stayed up way too late last night watching the CBC like a hopeless sicko but the way they avoided talking about Poilievre's riding, Carleton, because they knew calling it at any point would result in screams of conspiracy, to only then have the race never actually tighten up, made it all worth it

Still so annoyed that The Onion doesn’t own InfoWars now

one of my sons just made the connection and realized that mama's tattoo is not just of a kitty but of this specific kitty, the one sitting next to him, and he's delighted. the other one is laying face down on the carpet trying to lick up sunbeams

when my offline/fb friends share trump jokes and wonder why i don't laugh i have to explain that i don't find them funny because the source material is simply inherently funny - demented and destructive self-parody. the joke being made has no value-add beyond "look at this shit"

my 11-month-old has learned the word NO and now she crawls around the house holllering NO NO NO NO like a car alarm. neat feature

Record crowds are already gathering on Parliament Hill in Ottawa for the traditional conclusion to the Canadian election cycle: watching the loser in the race for prime minister (this year, Conservative Party leader Pierre Poilievre) be publicly beheaded with a samurai sword by Michael Bublé

oh balatro's gonna ruin my life huh

He's proven that he isn't committed to you or change and you're not modeling good behavior for your kids by staying in an unhappy marriage, so leave him

why do commercials assume i have a gastroenterologist

You should probably refrain from drawing sweeping conclusions from a bunch of guys replying to third tier-X, The Everything App clickbait accounts. That seems like a sample that is going to set you up for the conclusion you already want to draw.

AKSHUALLY the cops aren't the good guys in Zootopia. there's one good cop (Officer Hops) and the rest are [SPOILER ALERT FOR ZOOTOPIA] mindlessly carrying out the orders of Secretly Evil Sheep Assistant Mayor Jenny Slate.

It's not called reading smut it's called reading for pleasure

Sorry about pulling that e-brake turn with the aircraft carrier in the Red Sea

excited to hear that the worst canadians I know will be having a terrible morning. sorry boot it

The difference between good porno and great porno is a last line of scripted dialogue that opens up the plot in wild ways that will never be explored. Eg: - New to town? - Yeah. I lost my job at Sweetgreen for endangering the lives of patrons in a preventable electrical fire. (they make out, strip)

The Trump administration doesn't play 4D chess, they flail around and people try to backfill motive because the idea that the people running the country are just flailing makes them profoundly uncomfortable. Don't assign motive or strategy that isn't there, you're doing their PR work for them.

the baby has developed a new type of scream. she throws her head back, opens her mouth, and goes AAAA with enough force to break the sound barrier. she does this at 3 in the morning. thank you baby!!! it’s an honor to have a front row seat to such innovation in the field of screaming

"the lord works in mysterious ways" - not even a secular version

it's always "wtf morty" and never "how is morty?"

A thing i started saying to other short men is 'we look some cute climbing into these giant trucks' and let me tell you, they HATE it, but usually its in a professional context and im their boss so they have to hollowly chuckle even tho i can see they are incandescent with rage. This is praxis

your soliloquy on why you don't like the thing everyone else likes is riveting bro thank you

Today I shaved at 5:00 a.m. like some kind of fucking surgeon

*eats a vegetable* I'm probably going to live forever

I think we should resist the urge to let Canadian politics be a proxy for American politics and be happy that the Liberals seem to have pulled off an improbable turnaround in just a few months, even if it’s not the blowout that would have wholly validated your Trump Takes.

fool me once, shame on you fool me eight times, shame on the Mission Impossible series of films

I wrote about the harder, less-expensive, smaller scale, and to me most interesting part of the Mets' ongoing process of becoming a real, good baseball team. defector.com/the-mets-are...

One thing that’s become really clear to me is that a lot of people’s analysis of situations is basically just how they’re personally responding to the marketing. There’s no real qualifiers for what a luxury apartment is, it’s what the developer is using to market it to prospective buyers.

New Order's collapsing in 2025? Well that will sure make Peter Hook feel pretty smug.

CBC projecting a Liberal party win in Canada 🍁

They asked the one NDP guy who's currently projected to win a riding in Quebec how he felt about it looking like a win for the Liberal party and he said "At least it's not the Conservative party"

You know, it’s kind of unfair to “reward” guys who just achieved their lifelong hopes and dreams with a trip to the White House where their decision to attend or not attend is going to make someone mad. Seems like maybe we should stop.

Gerry Connolly had Throat Cancer from eating too much Pussy, making it actually extremely Woke that this insanely frail 900 year old man was given congressional committee leadership

Look, sometimes you get a bad one and you toss it

Everybody's like "okay so it's gonna tighten up probably" and it's not lol

I left Marmalade home alone today for the first time while i was out all day working and i was worried about her all day but i got home and she tore a potted rose to shreds and found and ate an entire bag of treats almost so she was FINE. Happy as a little pig in shit.

The photo choice here by WaPo is 🤌

Every single one of the Flintstones "it's a living" appliance dinosaurs is dead and, for living in a time before Christ, roasting in Hell. Was it worth it, then? To eat the Flintstones' garbage and to be the Flintstones' vacuum cleaner? To wash their toilet with your mouth? Have some god damn pride.

The All Cope White House