Top recent posts by Web Professionals on Bluesky

Worth noting, I guess, that inside of a year we've gone from administration officials taking selfies of themselves at CECOT and bragging about how it's hell on earth to now getting their horrible little media worms to kill stories about it

This and the discussion about how academics can now just read AI summaries of things really drives home how much these guys always confuse the product for the goal. You don't do a coloring sheet because you want to have a colored sheet at the end!!! The coloring is the point!!!

Welcome to 60 Minutes. Our top story tonight is Snakes: Nature’s Spaghetti

Bari Weiss really fucked up by stepping in it on the slowest news week of the year. We've got nothing to talk about and no work to do!

If you got a problem, yo, I'll solvent, check out the gunk, isopropyl dissolves it

"The project—[Bari Weiss's] and that of her backers—is to establish herself and her cohort not as new-right media, but as the new liberal media, staking out the leftmost acceptable position within the new right-wing paradigm." (This is a gift link, from October) defector.com/bari-weiss-s...

THE GRINCH: and to all a good night!!! *five minutes later* CINDY LOO WHO'S MOM: hey can we talk? thanks for bringing back the presents and cutting the roast beast but - did you talk to my kid? THE GRINCH: uh, yes, uh, when I wa- CINDY LOO WHO'S MOM: okay so don't ever talk to my kid again

Genuinely looks like a real life Bob's Burgers character

here's my 2026 bingo card

This should likely go in my little Bari at CBS thread but I just don’t know what she thinks pulling a story two hours before air is going to do for her cause. The people who watch 60 Minutes for the journalism are the kinds of people who care about this shit, and the people who would cheer it don’t!

I guess Trump is supporting Mike Lindell for Minnesota governor, which kind of makes me think he is out of guys

I, horrifyingly, have substantially more journalism experience than Bari Weiss does

santa isn’t coming this year because he’s on a “semen retention journey”

people always laugh when bears run away from housecats because they're so much bigger but like. imagine you were in the woods & you ran into a weird little guy that looks kinda like you but like 1/5th the size & his head is shaped weird & he is running toward you full tilt yelling. what would you do

Bari pulled this so they could make it even more fearless and truth-telling.

guys showing up in my mentions to prove they're not goofy

Taking down all my Nicki Minaj posters

did you screenshot me to quote dunk to your 37 followers? use alt text next time at least

In the 2000s you could wear a t-shirt that said Dalai Parton with a picture of her meditating and people would be like "that is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life."

Almost feel sorry for people who've always had their shit together and will never experience the surprise and delight of getting their shit together.

someone told him to try to “Louisiana purchase” Greenland

In Mr. Beast’s new million dollar challenge they precisely measure a guy’s food intake and feces output and for each gram of nutrients that goes undigested they take away $10,000

Dystopian future where the Cult of Charlie wears a tent in place of a cross

Everyone at work is mad at me because I conjured The Devil

bari weiss killing every christmas piece at cbs until someone lands an interview with santa

we were just talking about this! every other house in our neighborhood has some kind of grinch themed decoration up. i do not remember him being a huge part of christmas when i was a kid but now he's more popular than rudolph

of course you see them on tv all the time now but it was a really big deal back in the day for a mainstream show like ER to cast a pez dispenser

Picked up some light reading while I was there

banning goatse? you mean covering the spread?

I’m really gonna miss Bowen Yang being on my TV every week

Gotta clear the schedule out for Things That Matter, such as "Is Feminism Dumb?" brought to you by Bank of America

Me: I should ask my followers what to get my mom for Christmas Werner Herzog: You must never do this

bring back beautiful male r&b singers loudly yearning for the pussy in a rainy washington dc alleyway

Trump is falling into the same trap that Eric Adams did, where crime is falling at unprecedented rates and he's going to be unable to claim it as a victory because his mythology revolves around Blue cities being crime-ridden, war-torn places.

Here it is, your moment of zen

How much do I love you? Your gift was on the fourth page of Last Minute Gifts for Her. The first three would not do.

Connecticut Attorney General William Tong on the latest suspension of Revolution Wind:

My boss just yelled at me for making helicopter noises with my mouth. This meeting sucks

"they're attacking their own!!!" hey what's this you're doing right now

When Twitter first got popular, people really started talking about their "brands" in a new way. It was important to have a brand, your brand was more important than just about anything else. Fast forward to now and every media executive seems to have done a complete 180 on that

JOE ROGAN: is that true? thats crazy ME: it is true, Joseph. and the crazy part is nobody says anything. no one will acknowledge that beaker is doctor bunsen honeydew's son. JOE ROGAN: wow ME: and the things he puts him through....

No shirt, no shoes, no torso: Only floating skulls allowed in this bar

interesting experiment with going out of my way to be as genuine and respectful as possible when discussing something online because i think people on both sides are coming from a good place. however, the results of the experiment is that people treat you exactly as poorly as if you're hysterical.

i think one of the most embarrassing things you can do is try to do a quick little jog across the yard wearing basketball shorts but your cell phone is in your pocket and the pocket is really deep so it starts swinging around like crazy and pulling your pants down. don't ask me why

my cousin said "that's a cool shirt, is that a ship" and i said "yeah" and she said "what's the quote say" and i said "scott for scientific method, amundsen for speed and efficiency, but when disaster strikes and all hope is gone, get down on your knees and pray for shackleton"

I'm making a prequel called Ocean's Two. Yeah it's about when he's still in his dad's BALLS (glances up from phone enough to jerk steering wheel back to right lane)

When this guy showed up in The Return is where I experienced my first big stupid grin of that run. I watched the first show so young my instinctual thought was, A Friend Is Here

lol. yeah man. literally

I finally watched this movie *this month* and hilariously it was just in time to see 60 Minutes officially die.

You take the Chip pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the Dale pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

[about to turn off a light switch with wet hands] This will be the time it happens

I think it should be the law that any company that plays Christmas music in its stores has to pipe the exact same music into its head offices for the same number of days.

Gotta run into a CVS (ram it with my car)

When I open a new stick of deodorant I think "what have you done to improve your situation since the last time you opened a stick of deodorant?" and then I think "How about you back off pal?"

can't stress enough how much better it is to watch a team win at the end of the season than bail out and hope for a high draft pick. tanking for picks is loser shit for fans who are spiritually front office drones.

After 44 hours with live power lines in my yard, they have arrived to disconnect my power, but only after we threatened Nova Scotia Power with legal action and showed that we had recorded 911 and calls about this.

you rang?

i think bari weiss is gonna turn this thing around

she’s watching the pulled CECOT story

i need to be a fly on the wall in cardi and meg’s group texts about nicki. please

inventing a service where, for a small monthly fee, you can ask a chatbot any of your questions. and then on the other end it’s me, lying my ass off

my uncle who is for lack of a better way to describe him a mountain man? he always makes these bananas woodworking christmas presents every year, one just the same for everybody. one year he made chessboards, one napkin holders, etc

horse girls joining the army in anticipation of the cavalry returning

the baby is running around with one of those long cvs receipts shouting “MONEY!!”

Brand new concept, "battleships"

Hahahah this sucks man

Substackers consult an editor challenge level: impossible

here are some things my family tried to feed my 2.5 year old sons while they were running around playing: whole blueberries whole almonds mini marshmallows ????????????

AI boosters are fine with this. They're fine with the child porn, they're fine with the fascist slop, they're fine with the environmental damage and the unprecedented theft. They're fine with all of it, because reading and writing their own emails is just too hard.

my kid is watching the paw patrol movie (look we gotta choose our battles on christmas break) and the evil mayor just exclaimed “this is why I hate free and fair elections!” shocked he doesn’t have a cabinet position tbh

Wild attempt to adapt the horniest book in the world under the hayes code, classic for a reason

go the fuck away im rotating

There's a part in The Fifth Elephant where the Fool's Guild catches fire, all the clowns rush to try to put it out, and they all start hitting each other with ladders and falling down. "The crowd watched silently. If it were funny, clowns wouldn’t be doing it."

If you want to understand the Keynesian multiplier on government spending in a dirtbag way: a few hundred thousand dollars creates billions of dollars in oysters that are harvested and sold for no less than a dollar along with much more expensive cocktails. That’s so much Economy overall.

at every family gathering my aunt gets out her play medical kit for all the kids to play with and in it she has a bunch of empty pill bottles and eye drops bottles and i take them all out and hide them because it's dangerous to teach children that those are toys and the next gathering they're back

i feel like the solstice happens too early in the winter. i know it doesn't but it feels like it does

I have taken a jazz gummy

This headline is so funny. "How she did it" was being a screenwriter, already working in the industry, who had contacts who recommended her for the job. She's not some random fan who was plucked from obscurity to become a showrunner through the strength of her online posting or fandom.

Fun fact: this screensaver funded moveon.org

Neat statue outside the entrance to the Connecticut Forensic Science Laboratory.

Blocking a big account that everyone follows because they are annoying is honestly so fucking cathartic. The professional hot takers are the bane of social media. They must be culled like diseased lifestock

Fantasy Football feels like a game of skill but it actually comes down to who in the friend group has The Mandate of Heaven

i think it should be legal to shoot those flock cameras off the poles

i love no context facebook poultry group stuff that is accidentally a meme

Guys only want one thing and it's Big Toolbox

They're calling it the most popular job in the world right now. Lots of big, great guys want this job. So we had to give it to someone who already has one

lot of you are very correct about things you also maybe shouldn’t be 17 quote posted threads deep about

A real city would never let the refs leave city limits alive

Having real and serious opinions about the Avatar movies is missing the point of them, and I feel weird every time I do. It’s like debating the merits of a screensaver.

There’s a whole genre of post that’s just “you got too mad while writing it to close the thought”

I think the best thing to come out of the Avatar franchise is the Ubisoft game, which is basically Far Cry with tall blue cat people and that winds up being exactly the treatment that makes the most sense

Job Opening: Computer Monitor Button Control Designer Requirements: 10+ yrs experience in sadism

Pluribus but it’s Benoit Blanc as the Carol character

Apparently ONE BEETLE AFTER ANOTHER is NOT the actual name of the film so I was very confused