Recent posts by Web Professionals on Bluesky

he picked up my coffee cup with his teeth while i was in the bathroom???

I wrote about the leveling and deranging effects of the Trumpist snitchscape, and the awful content creation imperatives governing this awful moment. defector.com/the-united-s...

i own one smart device, it is a lightbulb you can configure to turn on slowly in the morning to replicate dawn, which i bought because it was idk 20% cheaper than the programmable LAMP which does same and i already owned a lamp, and it was the worst decision i've ever made and i despise it

daycare: “your child made a cat headband and got to give their cat a name” my kid:

this guy thinks Charlie Kirk’s in heaven lmao

sorry that i am my usual chipper self (the one that feels like it's been run through the wood chipper)

not if you don't Believe

two other women in this waiting room and they are both wearing realtree camo hoodies

Bring some peace of mind to our friend with a loving donation. 😌

If university presidents were in charge of making soup they’d tell you that you need at least a teaspoon of diarrhea in there, for balance

Out: calling it “flyover country” In: “rectangle states”

i certainly have my misgivings about capitalism, but some days – every once in a while, usually on my commute into the office – i do see the appeal of hiring children to do all the work instead of me

i certainly have my misgivings about capitalism, but some days – every once in a while, usually on my commute into the office – i'm do see the appeal of hiring children to do all the work instead of me

Working on a modern translation of The Iliad. What do you guys think of “And yeah. Achilles went fuckin ripshit. Just fuckin…balls out horny for doing that gremlin shit, you know?”

My trainer made me weigh myself in front of him bc he thought I weighed 45lbs less than I do. I tried to explain to him that I'm like if a 6'2" 225lb guy was crammed into an ultrawide 5'6". Im dense. Like a stump of burled oak, and easily twice as resplendent

really enjoying the magnificent AMITY by Nathan Harris. In one of the most wrenching parts, a former slave-owner in the Reconstruction era explains that he and other white men are prepared to murder their former slaves if they leave to start better lives, rather than remain free in name only

Hanging up a banner at the gym that says 'Let the soft animal of your body love what it loves'

another, less odd ask: what can I do with two heads of butterhead lettuce?

Phillip / Philip cancelled / canceled travelled / traveled

Daily loot crate opened! ******RECEIVE******** “Dinah’s Old Banjo” melee weapon “Strum” emote

that gap in my resume is when I was a cautionary tale

they're so happy. they have zero fear of judgement or any sort of consequences. they have the power to gleefully rip apart the lives of vulnerable people and so they eagerly wield it - all while pretending that they're *good* people

every fascist and every fascist enabler has blood on their hands

anyway my schedule as positioned itself into my favorite pattern, I have to get literally everything done in 12 hours and then I get to cease to exist for two days I am aware this is not healthy but I worked nightlife for over a decade I cannot change

Hello i interviewed Kelarnie from the current season of Bake Off AU (my job) for fun! Kelarnie rocks. She doesn’t have a Bluesky (she is not annoying/old) but check her and her bakes out on ig/tiktok and the great Australian bake-off! (binge/foxtel)

Falling asleep with a Zyn in your lip is probably a top five method for having some truly buck wild dreams

We should abolish real estate agents but we should also keep putting up pictures of slightly odd looking people with slightly odd sounding names

oh my GOD bro

if you think you're there you're not there. goodnight.

just prevented myself from abrasively dooming in public, where is the treat dispenser

just prevented myself from abrasively dooming public, where the treat dispenser

I fuckin love this little guy, Poochie forever

𝐀𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑜𝑛, 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑑 After equipping this item, you may not remove it from your hand. You must gaze deeply into it with every action and be driven mad. Messages from the damned come to you in haunting whispers and chilling images. Every year, you must purchase the newest version.

Something I appreciate about ALIEN: EARTH is that it kinda posits that Dallas breaking quarantine to let Kane inside in ALIEN wasn't so much one person making a mistake as a societal-wide issue of almost everyone being an absolute dumbass because they live in a world controlled by corporations.

My girlfriend cut my brake lines she’s such a Scorpio

I tried to watch Buckaroo Banzai but I think that movie just sucks in a regular way and not in a fun way, sorry

all my homies opening xiaohongshu 0.3 seconds after trumptok drops

Huge news for many people, including T-Bone, dropping in six hours

If you dream about work they should have to pay you

all my homies opening xiahongshu 0.3 seconds after trumptok drops

people who still post on twitter I guess have at this point made up their minds but if you’re looking for another good reason to dump twitter and tiktok maybe consider how fun it would be to make these bad investments for some of the world’s most annoying boneheads

post a movie you like with a terrible rotten tomatoes score www.rottentomatoes.com/m/9_songs

wife asked if this was a “shooting game”

lmao to joel engardio dying by the sword

Not sure if Borderlands 4 has any real hooks in me just yet but there isn't really another game like this is there I mean other than other Borderlands games someone would have said that

Some egg-shaped mfer sits on a wall and we’re supposed to feel bad when he falls down gtfoh

The baseball gods are punishing Dave Roberts for his hubris in commanding one of their own to stand down

every Citibike station I see is insanely busy

addison rae billed higher than david byrne and interpol on the coachella lineup…we did it girls

Yeah you can try but there’s not a single jury in DC that’s going to convict and you’ll just embarrass the DOJ further

(while being swarmed by hornets) Sorry! Just seeing this!

woah, lady: you *french* your bulldog??

I choose H because I like the restaurants in my city :) it also contains my wife’s cooking :)

fash boys looking for romance on karendate

People make fun of Major League Soccer but not one team in MLS did a moment of silence for shithead Charlie Kirk. You may find American supporters groups “cringe“ but they are the revolutionary vanguard compared to the average NFL fan. No way they would let an MLS team get away with that bullshit.

they're driving the tanks - obvs

john yoo told congress that the president can order troops to crush a boy's testicles to get him to reveal where his terror-suspect father is hiding

somehow despite my love of literally every person involved and shows exactly like this i had never watched TASKMASTER before tonight but rest assured i am now watching TASKMASTER

"we'll debate next" idk seems like a pretty easy debate

neither the writers nor the readers are supposed to think

We deserve more movies starring John Travolta's MICHAEL. We should have Michael Minus One. Shin Michael. Michael Cloverfield Lane. Michael x Kong: The New Empire. And all starring the wonderful John Travolta of today: 90 years old, bald, and unapologetically ***.

He probably should, yeah, but are we sure Trump knows what the Quad is or why it’s important? He’s probably going to talk about that reporter he yelled at today.

just watched the original/1966 "Django" 10/10 no notes

it's so funny to see America's health insurance companies be like "look. If there's one thing we love it's denying you care. but we ran the numbers - and we cannot BELIEVE we're saying this - and it's cheaper for us to just pay for the vaccines than deal with you going to the ER."

This lady was a damn Tunguska Event on Young Ken

We’re past the era of debate me bro but I remain convinced if you used firm but fair parent voice on like Jordan Peterson you could make them accidently call you Mommy regardless of gender

Newest plant partner- this jade! Planted in the workaround to the Ivory marriage anniversary tradition

a good way to not have to worry about getting added to annoying lists and getting spam is to, when asked for your email, say "i don't use email" people fucking hate this response but it is actually not legally required for anyone to use email

how many people were suspended today for hoping robert redford rests in piss? oh, interesting.

Im thinking about having a beak put in

The Sting is a very good movie but something that restrained and dry making $1.8B is fully bonkers. Hypothesis that Butch Cassidy audiences had simply never seen two men as hot as Redford and Newman in the same movie before, and when they switched facial hair all bets were off

Again Freud is needed to understand out time

my haters have laid siege to the city gates

now ive been in the workforce for a while, so I'm not surprised that some of you might not be aware of this "hack": when your boss says, hey, are you easily replaceable by a computer, you say no. you don't say yes. that is what we call "a whoopsie"

what is even the given justification for asking people to RSVP for protests. i know it's just for mailing list reasons but that can't be what they say. why do they say they need a headcount in advance or ability to contact all potential attendees. what is the use of that

Shades of Karen Silkwood, very good and documented episode about her death and coverup and it being a labor issue actually here podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e...

probably only gonna be two deaths that make people incredibly horny this decade and we just had one

Sometimes I get a little tired of being stuck in the stupidest timeline

yeah I've seen some videos that have this premise. variance in production values between one and the next quite erratic, of course

i saw 10 seconds of the new tron trailer and it looked super schlocky and like not in a fun way

the Dems are farming XP

just like you wanted, boss. real pointy and schemey

The Twins coming back against the Yankees when the Yankees need every win they can get in late September would be delightful

(nineties surfer dude "bodacious babe" voice) salient points

Ain't October yet but I'm knocking out my Shudder back log, night by night. So far: DANGEROUS ANIMALS, THE SADNESS, CENSOR, SPIRAL (not the Chris Rock one)

Never seen it but love it

dragging a coffin behind you as you walk into town hits different in 2025

He loved that boy like a ballroom

great

i didn't say my stats are good i said they're maxed out. and it's true those numbers will never be higher

Thinking about this a lot tonight

Simon's one of the best of us and if you can throw in a fiver or a tenner it may make his and Jene's grief at bidding farewell to Sandwiches that much less trying. If you can, please do.

he’s always showing off how long he is

If you were going to fill up a box of things you might need if you lost water what would you fill it with (besides water)

Spent the day offline touching grass with family, and it’s finally over! Time to cook my brain in a dopamine stew

Kerry Carpenter just did a very fun thing

Doaa hasn’t given up and neither will we. 🤝

there needs to be a dessert like tiramisu that incorporates methamphetamines