Recent posts by Web Professionals on Bluesky

trump's gonna have to make his most perfect phone call yet

Absolutely miserable showing by the USMNT in circumstances that are going to keep everyone angry long after the game. Worst possible outcome.

bro get the fuck out of my state

Maybe it will happen today

Ok mutuals most of us need to keep doing Platner. The Nates will take World Cup. Assorted Magazine Contributors have McConnell pretty well wrapped up. We're good on Tilly Norwood, if you still have jokes we will need them again in six weeks.

Whats the most patriotic sexual position? Is it different based on the country?

can't believe belgium would do this to the country that SAVED their ASSES for a little bit at the end of world war one

Oyster Farmers right now

Oh damn so we actually were cursed

-Crusher to Picard -Yes Doctor? -Needing that big French hog sucked? -On my way

look guys there are a lot of rumors swirling about mitch mcconnell right now so just a reminder about how important it is to make sure you're only sharing information that is properly sourced verified and credible or at least really fucking funny

I'm the hospice nurse whose job it is to open and close Mitch McConnell's mouth with my hand like a puppet so the news thinks he's alive. And when practicing, I've been having him tell me how warm and genuine I am. And it means a lot to me! I have fallen deeply in love with my handsome dead senator.

Speaking as a man, it kind of is all men

I closed my eyes and tried to picture myself hitting a rabona and even in my vision I woke up in a hospital.

Did y’all see Killer Joe

wow if you thought it was already rough for usa supporters, here's lalas at halftime

halftime. wanna shit in a box to check for disease?

Making a small vase about the abject horror it feels like to have a crush on someone. Gettin glazed and then ready to hold flowers. 🥀

who do you think topped Riker and who was his bottom?

his half-life is accelerating as he decomposes

very difficult to do "natural consequences" when the lads love the natural consequences. one of them just falsely claimed to have been the one who crammed sticks in the air purifier so he could stay home from the playground and help papa fix it with the screwdriver

i don’t wanna hear another goddamned word about matt “i like josh hawley” stoller being “on the left”

when i heard about a guy who liked committing war crimes in Iraq so much he took the only job that would let him keep doing them as a civilian, but now sort of weakly says it was bad, i went "Finally! A politician who's not animated by violent psychosexual power fantasies!" but somehow i was fooled

Belgium #20 a Wharton School of Business looking motherfucker

*tells you how much rain I've measured in my big dumb rain gauge for the three thousandth time*

yay! or boo! whichever one i’m supposed to say

Fuckin owning their ass in possession

facebook right wingers love ai generating someone to get mad at over and over

This is what I wrote about Platner back in October of 2025, and I think it holds up okay. The popular movement that grew around him in Maine is real and inspiring, the guy himself was always fugazy at best. At this point I just hope the former outlasts the latter. defector.com/what-job-is-...

We need to bring back bullying. Stuff like this shouldnt be happening. This type of guy needs to be fucking obliterated.

for a second i thought belgium had arizona green tea jerseys

about a decade ago I got a Big Dipper tattoo with one too many stars in the constellation and within a week I was at the dermatologist getting that extra dot cut out of my skin with the mole remover

my favorite thing about being a jewish woman living in the united states is probably the part where it feels like everyone is a secret rapist nazi

One problem I have with every recipe is where is the step for crying

Everyone’s anthem singing is a beat behind the music lol

our fridge broke and everything inside spoiled so we have no choice but to eat pupusas tamales y platanitos con frijoles y crema from chepe's until the new one arrives ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sad

popular country/bluegrass hits performed by butch lesbians

[Hopefully] bitch mcconnell...?

mitch mcconnell won’t see your jokes about how he’s already dead (they only have x in hell)

popping on the hat that turns me into a political cartoon about america's gerontocracy and wandering around the country club where i live looking like a cryptid's ghost

i don’t wish death upon anybody but this is so fucking funny lmao

a cryptofascist wrecker could not have done more harm to the democratic party than graham platner has already done, and they'd likely use the exact same playbook platner did. everyone involved in this shit is not a serious person. seriously fucked up creeps and losers, yes, but not serious people.

goodbye Bernie, it's been nice goodbye Stephen King, hope you find that... your novels are also nice tried to see Mark Hamill's point of view but Luke Skywalker would be ashamed of youuu* * (because of your AI memes and thirst replies, you 90-year-old weirdo)

charles ingalls the original girl dad

Watermelon, almond, celery, cucumber, feta and mint salad

democratic leadership heard mitch mcconnell is brain dead and are optimistic they can convince him to switch parties

let's be real, on that picture alone his posture suggests "really trying to just get to my stop without gagging on the smell of piss-sweat"

I cannot WAIT for the Independence Day celebration next weekend! PSYCHED!!!

What kills me about this guy is that it was such an easy call right at the outset, and yet here we fucking are

hard to see graham platner as anything but an actual psy-op: guy with personal ties to DC gets plucked from obscurity to run as an avatar of populist left-leaning masculinity while almost exclusively being propped up by the most noxious centrists in political media

As much as I hate to say it because it’s cheap webforum meta discourse, the strongest correlation to Platner support wasn’t ideology, it was if you still frequently use X, The Everything App. I would hope that would lead to some introspection about what remaining on there does to your judgement.

my only Nolan ranking thing is this 1) Interstellar is the only one that really got to me 2) Oppenheimer is very good, very rewatchable; Trinity sequence pays for everything 3) The Prestige bangs 4) Inception, I could be higher on; I keep it around 5) The Dark Knight is ok, rewatchable value high

If the FedEx guy comes while I'm grilling I'll fake a business call, say things like "as I told Tokyo at 6am"

That’s ballgame AND it gives his diehards the ability to say that the establishment is out to get him forever instead of confronting what he did. Everyone gets what they want.

this man is eating pineapple

anyone who wants to run for office is probably a psycho of one variety or another. not great.

Grain of salt obviously, but my buddy works for the Maine Democratic Party and says there are already moves in motion to replace Platner as the nominee with a pulsing black ruby that animates the insatiable malevolent dead.

Shame to be so isolated from the levers of power since I have all the answers, oh well

A plurality of voters are tired of pols saying "We're going to get [district] moving again" and "[District] Strong!" and "We Hear You Hearingly" and don't need to be reminded of what's being neglected, what vague promises have been waved aside. Jeez it's like there's some untapped potential there?

corduroy socks; ribbed for his pleasure

Checking out the 3am soccer games would be such a fun story to report

There’s a rabbit in my pocket and baby he’s ready to shit

I was like "Huh, I haven't heard from my two dummies in a few minutes, I hope they're not up to some bullshit" and so I pulled up the doorbell camera and they're chillin like a couple of villains lol

FREE USE BASEMENT (SPIDERS ONLY)

let's clear this up. if Jehoshaphat is going to make any kind of move, it's jumping

POV your monastery is cooked

there's an old joke where a doctor's on the witness stand getting challenged on why he was so sure a patient was really dead and says it's bc his brain was on my desk before conceding that he might still be alive and practicing law and i am thinking about this joke today FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER

i wish my house had a poltergeist that'd just like smack my ass every now and then, make me feel sexy

From a month ago. Anyone saying they didn't see this coming should retire or can't be trusted.

Nova scotia has the best strawberries (pronounced 'strawbries' in the world and im thrilled to report, its that time of year again

there appears to be some confusion over whether senator mcconnell is living or dead, which is understandable because how could you even tell

me: i thought we'd look at some books until papa gets home iggy: no i only want to play on the porch me: ok what if we took some books out onto the porch iggy: that would be a quite lovely idea

if there were any justice in this world we’d never hear from the pod save america guys again

my only problem with Emily Wilson's The Odyssey is it's absolutely chock full of spoilers for the new movie >:(

The congress is eternal and unchanging, staffers will determine the senator’s divine will via augury and the reading of entrails

every day, in every way, he is getting better and better

Months and months of Homer and Bart chasing the runaway BBQ while shouting “It’s just a little ___, it’s still good!” What a mess

Not gonna pierce these baking potatoes with a fork, in fact I hope they explode. I hope it takes out the whole neighborhood.

Hey man I think you might just be an antisemite

Watching Spain/Portugal

they're bringing Graham Platner to Mitch McConnell's bedside by force and Mitch McConnell has drained Platner's life essence and Platner has become a mere pile of ash whereas McConnell looks 37 again. it's like that scene with Robert Forster on HEROES

sentator midge madgeconical has imploaded

"He was bitten by an animal and became that animal."

I hope this doesn’t negatively affect voters’ opinions of guys who got nazi tattoos

today: we're playing coy about whether this guy is dead or not because it may or may not make the slightest difference in some arcane Senate procedure next week: don't you DARE speak ill of the dead, he was a Great Legislator, a Statesman

i never learned who graham planter was or how to calculate the area under a curve and both have turned out to be the right calls

ok take it easy. politics writer here Senators are always entering Death Phase. the median age is 107. You think this is stuff we've never seen before? Don't make me laugh. It's all part of the big show. The big game. Now grab your popcorn and sit back. It ain't amateur night, here at the "Beltway"

Prediction markets are bullshit but that’s not going to keep me from laughing at the Dems chances of taking the senate seat in Maine jumping like ten points on the possibility that Platner’s gonna drop out

you can read this in the exact cadence of the Pledge of Allegiance

The cat just sat on the remote to lick his ass, pausing Spain/Portugal and you know what? He’s right. Licking your own ass is a better use of time than watching this.

Did that fan have an inflatable jamón

As someone who is now married to his former coworker: you can do it, but you gotta be a lot more careful than you would be going on a date with someone who you don’t work with

I drove my junker down to Gansevoort Street to see my girl. I met a man at the door who told me to scram. Her door. He looked a copper.

One thing that I think is under-considered in this is that AOC was a bartender before she was a congresswoman and I have to wonder if she saw Platner and immediately went “I know that kind of guy”

the people, don't like this one