Recent posts by LGBTQ+ Content Creators and Allies on Bluesky

Me in hellraiser: Pinhead: “we have such delights to show you” Me: “ooooh like a new Ben and Jerry’s flavor?” Pinhead: “in our world pleasure and pain are the same thing” Me: “aww no… so phish food?”

3,000 years ago I would have been a beautiful and revered day labourer

i am in love with this man

Somewhere in the north pacific, a bottle containing the SOS and map of the island I’m marooned on gently laps against the floating trash island as a seagull begins pecking away at it

you guys get this one

I like that season 4 of righteous gemstones premiered with a civil war episode starring Bradley cooper with a beautiful production of real set pieces and practical effects and in all of that Danny Mcbride still found a way to have someone hang dong

DATE: I don't care if he violates the constitution. Honestly never crossed my mind that there were rules for other people. Just me. I was the only one they kept in for recess. The only one who had to stay in my chair until the plates were clean. ME: (sexy voice) Finish my fries.

if there is a god he left me at the gas station and forced me to forgive him and mean it

if i'm not apocalyptically hard on myself they'll put me back under the road

That’s preposterous. He’s actually a hologram created by dunkin’

animes are all about a guy who goes around fighting stronger guys until he's the strongest guy, but then an even stronger guy shows up

If you were working backward from a plan to deny peaceful transfer of power in 4 years, and you wanted to take steps to limit possible mutinies during that event, what facially neutral actions would you take right now www.military.com/daily-news/2...

Sweet dream or beautiful nightmare?

i am the only one now, i am the only one now, i am the only one now

There’s a type of poster where the Jesse Singal follower badge gives it away and another type of poster where their bio gives it away

turn a man into a fish and u can fuck him for a lifetime

Me seeing people betting on sports: "Idiot. Buffoon. I've always hated sports and this makes me wiser than them" Me seeing a blackjack table: ".... FUCK"

She better be angling for a bag to have one of that nasty mother fuckers disgusting test tube babies because this is the most pathetic shit I’ve ever seen

why is it called soft power when using it makes me rock hard

they turned the white house into a penis

Boston guys go into shell shock when you ask them if they like apples

i love that guys like this are utterly witless so their only comeback is being really racist

(cis woman smiling at you) Are you ready to get your very first compliment?

this game (Odinfall) is really fucking nice. Lots of weapons, attachments to change them, (mostly) cute graphics and it's really difficult. or i'm bad, which i wont rule out, but i would get sad if you implied that. cool game. heard ppl compare it to nuclear throne. never played it tho so idk.

John Oliver just had a joke about someone who never would remember where their car keys were and I am preparing a lawsuit as we speak.

imagine you’re in living in 24,000 bce and your friend busts out the venus of willendorf

Every time I read The Great Gatsby, the final paragraph brings me to tears. Breathtakingly powerful writing:

once the right loses we will have to send thousands of people like will chamberlain to re-education camps

man really sucks that fascism won

I will be streaming AC: Shadows from start to finish. Starting on release.

This is just speaking in tongues for guys who beat their wives more than guys who speak in tongues at Pentecostal revival churches.

What happened to witten

it’s insane that chuck schumer and the democrats that voted for the budget are absolutely okay with this

one of the problems i have with studying right now is that it’s hard to do while laying on the couch

I guarantee you somewhere out there is a Millennial great-grandparent. Someone born in 1981, had a kid at 14, whose kid also had a kid at 14, and so on. #makeuthink

the quieter you manage to be trying to not wake up your wife on the way to bed, the louder the sound you will make by dropping your phone or stubbing your toe on the nightstand. this is known as jf's law.

life is like a chapstick you left in your pants and threw into the laundry. it’s a mistake that just keeps on happening

distracting myself by doing weird things

I went to a Catholic middle school and you had to get a teacher to host your club and the only one who would was the most disinterested closeted gay teacher and he just pointed a TV at us and read magazines while we put Ranma 1/2 and Evangelion into the TV, it rocked.

Invalidating autopenis. Is this anything?

headstone inscription: "sorry you had to see that"

My wife and I decide who makes the bed based on who wakes up last except for today when she's traveling where she woke up second and didn't make the bed. 5% of me thinks it's because she forgot whereas 95% of me is certain she somehow knows I don't give a shit if the bed is made.

PETER GABRIEL: So I’ve been wondering something lately… ME: [hopefully] Yes? PETER GABRIEL: Do you think I should bring back that bat-wing headpiece and makeup from Watcher of the Skies? ME: Yes! Finally! It looked so cool! YES! PETER GABRIEL: [with contempt] You *would* think that. Every night.

I didn’t leave twitter to avoid being exposed to ideas I don’t like, I left it to avoid the people who have those ideas. They’re all stupid, disgusting hogs!

the least plausible way trump leaves office is that his 4 year term expires and he peacefully leaves. dying of natural causes before (or after) 2028, assassination, military coup, and fleeing to a non-extradition country while millions of people take to the streets are all more likely ends to this

PETER GABRIEL: So I’ve been wondering something lately… ME: [hopefully] Yes? PETER GABRIEL: Do you think I should bring back that bat-wing headpiece and makeup from Watcher of the Skies? ME: Yes! Finally! It looked so cool! YES! PETER GABRIEL: [with contempt] You *would* think that. Every night.

Modern scholars agree that it was soon after america went "woke"

sign that says "no vaping" and then in smaller text "smoking ok"

Jude Law in "I heart huckabees":

you can swallow a whole sub sandwich through the power of belief

it is just fully Nazi over there by the way, like shockingly so if you haven’t been on in a while

oh by the way, the other day I got into a weird headspace and did a whole long thread about how I’m feeling. no way I’m rewriting it all for alt text so here’s a link x.com/postoctobris...

Transmasc Pinocchio whose top scars look… actually, fucking forget it. I can't fucking do this. I can't fuckisg do this. I'm going to my alone place

good morning fellow liberals

Transmasc Pinocchio whose top scars look… actually, fucking forget it. I can't fucking do this. I can't fuckisg do this. I'm going to my alone place

Marvelous

maybe this will motivate them to keep doing the exact same thing

they wanna turn our kids french

we’re sending you to phone rehab

Commissioning H.R. Geiger for my bottom surgery

it's true that no one owes you anything. it's true that each of your fingertips is attached to a string. it's true that there is a lever before you. it was true that no one owed you anything. it was true that each of your fingertips were attached to a string. there was no lever.

if i were hot i would not be downloading pdfs right now

dusting this cock n balls with cool ranch seasoning

I imagine the sacklers using hundred dollar bills to wipe away tears of laughter whenever I see an elected official talk about we need stronger law enforcement and prison sentencing for people selling fentanyl

Toby Huss is one of the best to ever do it

i’m so brave because i’ve been waiting 2 hours for a pdf to download

*2040. My son and I sit next to a small crackling fire as we cook rats we found in the rubble of an unidentified major city.* My son: “daddy, how did it all fall apart?” Me: “well, my son, comedy had become illegal…”

people who are funny had to be

who up playing it as it lays

A short time ago I appeared on an episode of my online friends’ podcast, Western Kabuki. This weekend I had the joy to meet them all — and some of their lovely fans — in person. What a joy it is to have friends doing the most important work: podcasting

My nose just started bleeding

jkl;qwertjkl;qwertjkl; werafsjkl;eASFJKL;asdfjkl;asdf;hjklAJK;Ljkljkl

God this shit is so fucking funny

Looks to me like most people think this “democracy” is shit and ass

THANK U @sevensout.bsky.social

this is how i post

it’s so cool that republicans made a big deal out of trump releasing the epstein files and they released a more redacted version of the same information we already had, it angered the base for like 2 days, and they just never brought it up again

i am not a terminal node that benevolence disappears into

pinching is getting old. we’re ready for a holiday where we get to bite

I feel like we're in the Semmelweis moment for mRNA treatments

today was one of those days where you just have to trudge along meaninglessly on the off chance that there's a dignified existence beyond the next blind turn

three years and many pounds later, she still sits in this same chair like an old man

this watermelon weed water tastes more like banana than an actual banana somehow lol

have been getting this targeted youtube ad for about 3 months

I got a text that was meant for my daughter and I just wanted to respond with “what am I supposed to do about it?”

we enter the blazing world. collectors assemble twitch.tv/bakkooonn

get in loser, we’re also losers. this is the losermobile

looking like I might have to choose between groceries and bills this month. help me not do that $katbug420

I tried shadow fisting in college

Absolutely unreal how much play this simple screencap is going to get in the coming years. This feels like being around for the moment the first tears of Michael Jordan began to fall and a cameraman noticed

As the world’s first and only podcaster, allow me to be the one to say “who cares”

Tell them how much you love them everyday