Top recent posts by Internet Weirdos on Bluesky

you guys absolutely rule

A horrible story but god bless this woman so accurately reading the ICE goons for filth here

Canada has a tough choice to make today. We have to vote between our current prime minister who is well respected and already helping our country through a very difficult period -or- a weirdly damp guy who wants to take away our rights and sell our country to another country.

Do you worry that your Cybertruck doesn’t look stupid enough? We’ve got just the product for you!

enjoying the music

Facists when the guillotine gets wheeled out: What happened to Due Process??!!

I waste all my bravery eating expired food

so they really just let you walk out of here with a newborn, huh

baby’s here 🙋🏻‍♂️

president bitchmade pissbaby lol

just found out Shake Shack is Radio Shack's daughter

made eye contact with a dog retching at the park we really connected

You're in his DMs. He's on your marriage certificate. You're doing laundry. He's in your house. You're in your closet. He's asking for socks. You're telling him to look in his drawer. He's not seeing them. You're getting tired of his helpless routine. He's wearing two different socks.

i hope they at least promoted the guy that painted it

You can’t make me happy, you’re not a family of fainting goats

bluesky went down on me twice this morning and it’s not even my birthday

In this strained economy, many are being forced to take knight jobs to make ends meet.

lord please bless this cock I am about to suck

if you’re not a fan of the muppets or streaming then keep scrolling bc this [thread] isn’t for you.

I got your reply and I'm going to need less information.

the greatest story ever told

I CHEWS VIOLINS

When you knock on the door of my secret club and are replied “who’s there?” the passphrase you’ll need is “Abe Froman, the sausage king of Chicago.”

I'm in the U.S. but I'd like to vote for Mark Carney to be our leader too.

Windows are the eyes to your soul.....crushing depression. You should close your shades bro.

following because they're hot: kinda creepy following because they're hot 𝙖𝙣𝙙 funny: 100% normal

KID: dad, how did i get my name ME: well Kid, your mom and i are extremely literal

We should be able to fire a president without cause if he’s in his first 90 days or if he’s an orange rapist piece of shit

pritzker showing that new york and california deserve so much better from their state government

For like the 100th time "Loosest Sluts in the County" was a typo. Grow up.

President Trump is the first person in history to lose both a U.S. and a Canadian election for its highest office.

Idk how the elderly could see their phones before reading glasses were invented.

Due to tariffs on Canadian products, Nickelback is now known as Sixpointtwocentsback. I'm not high. I swear.

The weirdly damp guy has been defeated. Thank you fellow Canadians. 🍁

when you assume, you make an ass out of you, yourself and you. just you. I didn't do shit

it's time for a woke bisexual pope

Canada is not an experiment. Canada is not expendable. Canada is the example. 🇨🇦

This is a man hating account and some birdwatching

local community center begins offering yoga classes to post-senior citizens

it’s actually really easy to halve your cake and eat it too

Just spent my tax return at Chipotle.

I get it morning, I'm broken too

btw, collectively we can bully these fucks a lot better. they don’t care if you call them dumb, fat, etc (you know the shit that punches down at other groups anyways) these people are weird, gross, weak, and/or cowards — regardless if you voted for them or not. and fucking stick with it.

Breathe in and let the chorus of infernal screams build up from the diaphragm.

🚨 WHITE HOUSE: MODS? MODS???

i’ll have a latte with a shot of muscle relaxers pls

I lied. There’s no sex. Get dressed, we have to find the Ark of the Covenant

I would stop posting here but it's the only purely social interaction I have

if you know what my posts mean don’t tell me i love a good mystery

idk like i just don’t think it’s fair to women that waffles get all those pockets.

Sorry I haven't been posting as much but I've been feeling mentally well

You'd think someone like John Lithgow is probably a pretty smart guy. He's so poised and charming and articulate, but he's just preternaturally talented at pretending he is. This is simply a man who doesn't feel the need to interrogate a single thought he has or action he takes.

Wondering what happened to the milk of human kindness? “FDA Pauses Milk Quality Testing Program”

a shrimp didn’t fry that rice? krill issue

Never met a chihuahua that didn’t bark at me

i overshot by quite a bit

I was recording a solo for another musician’s album. I nailed it on the first take and started packing up. The producer asked if we should record another just in case. “Less is more” I replied. Everyone nodded as if I had said something wise. I was getting paid the same either way.

the lost fighter jet is hilarious, except that it would have fed every homeless person in America

kindness matters but so does telling people to go fuck themselves when necessary.

these are their influencers with the widest swath of messaging & it’s not even a meme anymore

a lot of porn stars get performance anxiety if they get too far out of their cumfart zone

Not to brag, but Bjork wrote Big Time Sensuality after seeing me sing Careless Whisper outside a supermarket, dressed in my karate uniform.

I’m ready for summer

All they do is shit on people and steal their food, they’re just like me fr

if you know what this is don't forget to take your vitamins

middle class people cannot conceive of the notion that poor people have it worse than them

Raphael texting girl: so I'm a ninja Her: that's pretty cool! what else can you tell me about yourself? Raphael: I'm also a mutant Her: wait what? Raphael: did I mention I'm a teenager? Her: I.... don't think this is gonna work out Raphael: I live in the sewers

that warm tingly feeling you get inside used book stores.

If you have the meats please keep that to yourself

so i guess my hospital bill wasn’t covered by insurance like I thought. i hate doing this but 🩶 gofund.me/44992644

the council will decide your fate

puddins. the cat detective. solves crimes. also commits crimes.

holy shit get their asses pritzker

An army of aunts and uncles made of mayonnaise.

i don’t want to brag but if i had been laura ingalls i would have been a huge whore

So far, 2025 is like a remake of Memento where we just wake up and read that Kanye tweet about his cousin every morning

When writing science fiction, always Google your made-up planet name—9 times out of 10, it's an existing yeast infection medication.

If we’re talking hypothetically anyways, I think I’d feel better killing a young adult Hitler

Imagine being this scared of people and it’s just fuckin… me, lol

shout out to sad boys w guitars I never got tired of you my whole life

hyperbole kills more people annually than all other literary techniques combined

🎶 i’m a bitch i’m a lover i’m a whore i’m your mother i’m a hoagie and some taint so you should be afraid 🎶

Isn't it weird when songs seem to be playing faster than usual? Interviewer: ...questions about the role

*feeding my 1yo child* vroooom here comes the airplane open up, if not no worries!

anntenae are quite useful to insects as they can pick up television shows that are simply unavailable in the human world

it would be funny if the fall of America is what kills the Olympics after covid failed

if my husband tried to put me in a pumpkin shell. Divorce

smells like teen spirit is my favorite song about unwashed plaid shirts

girls don’t want boys, they want a cursed ancient sword and a large iced coffee.

On another note *sounds of gargling glass*

eating a salad with a distant melancholic expression

me anytime I see more than two things going the same direction

President Trump tries to play off the stinging loss, saying “I’ve never even met Canada.”

Sure, I’ll take a receipt for paying my power. It’s just nice to know I can return it if I need to.

i fucking promise you — it takes more effort to punch down & make other people your punchline when this is just the shit these off-putting weird dorks just do

trump should start using reverse psychology and give us all our rights back. that'll show em

“So, anyway, long story short, you’re supposed to take the pizza out of the box BEFORE you put it in the oven.” -me, talking to the firefighters

JESUS: *starts snacking on loaves and fishes* TEACHER: Jesus, what have I told you…no eating in class unless you brought enough for everyone JESUS: *smiles*

Here comes the no-no police telling me I’m not allowed to be stabbed by The Knife Toilet