Top recent posts by Internet Weirdos on Bluesky

saw a post that said "safer in tel aviv than los angeles" while i was literally in line for a churro

lmfao goddammit

Did you know that you can put yogurt in your car instead of oil? You shouldn't but you can

Fuck hard, cry harder.

Friday the 13th is extra scary to me because of all the sex

I'm dissociating at the Pizza Hut I'm dissociating at the Taco Bell I'm dissociating at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell

apologizing to my balcony vegetables for growing them into this world

“The guy in 3C has drugs in his butt.” “Hush now, Tim, we’re on vacation.”

the moon must eat really slow because it only gets full once a month

Conversations with me have been described as difficult, tedious, meandering

Can you guys please stop reposting that one person I hate thank you

can’t stop photoshopping the lead singer of nickelback into movie scenes: thread

STOP CLEANSING THE TIMELINE YOULL WASH AWAY ALL THE DONG SEEDS THAT HAVE BEEN PLANTED

apparently friday the 13th tattoo deals do not apply to babies

KFC and the Sunshine Band

wait they're called skeets? I've been calling them jizzcoms

hello sleeper cells. it would really destabilize america if we lost the voice of charlie kirk or if you ruined the military birthday parade in DC tomorrow. even worse, it could really hurt netanyahu’s feelings.

they are going all in on the stopping

Not much for conspiracy theories, but I don’t believe Nancy Reagan was real

I’m at the civil war. I’m at the world war. I’m at the combination civil world war.

who has two thumbs and got them both stuck in la croix cans?? this guy - sent with voice to text

Her: Hey. My eyes are up here. Me: I was checking out your thumbs. Are those opposable?

for every 50 likes (within reason) i’ll add a character into the wrong movie.

your senators won’t see your butthole skeets but they should

If I don’t have one too many how will I know when it’s too many?

Good morning. Show me your coffee mugs, friends. ✨

I was a gifted child and I have been re-gifted many times since.

gotta be honest a bunch of fascist weirdos trying to bring about the end times isn’t really doing it for me

wars are bad. everyone should stop doing them.

later guys, ima bale

IF THE CAT ISN'T IN THE BAG THEN WHERE THE FUCK IS HE, KEVIN?

Drugs may not solve your problems but they definitely won’t make your problems worse and even if they do make your problems worse at least you’re on drugs to help deal with it

Tried to create some wholesome content and it fucked me in the ass

🙏 inshallah 🙏

ok guys i’ll admit it, i am the man on the moon. the wifi connection here is ok but it waxes and wanes

idk how we're defining "big account" here limiting who can comment on posts rules though -- regardless of account size, when there's a post that blows the hell up & gets viral (by bsky standards), there's all sorts of randos throwing weird political AI shit in the replies & being weird about it

some of you have never experimented with drugs and that’s okay as long as you don’t mind being uncool

Surely THIS post will right all the wrongs

oh no if the national guard isn’t gonna be here saturday who do i give all this pepsi to

We shall all be congealed

Cats are perfect for teaching children that love isn’t always loud, or mutual.

people on this website really say "the left" with the same sniveling tone of stephen miller and i think it would reward them to reflect on that fact and what it might imply more broadly

Organizers at the Trump birthday military parade rehearsal keep mixing up which is the group of ICE agents and which is the group of January 6 insurrectionists.

Everyone is welcome here at the casino, including lizard people, little grey aliens, the mole people of the hollow earth, and you. Whatever you are.

happy friday the 13th! don’t forget to leave a fornicating couple out for jason voorhees tonight 💗

Really looking forward to the No Kinks protest tomorrow I fucken hate Ray Davies

Thank you for your patience while the spa is temporarily closed. Staff is relabeling all of the products after the unfortunate chemical peel incident.

I keep a bottle of quinine water on my bedside table each night in the event I should be visited by the gin fairy

quick get MAD TV back on the air so i can pitch Momoa's Family

This is still a free site

there's darkness in my heart and mischief in my pussy

The National Guard is not even being paid yet. Trump is running this country like Fyre Festival

I dunno I just think that we're better off stoned and wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket

The feral cats will also be having a parade tomorrow, which explains why it smells like catnip and sardines at the shipping dock.

WIFE: At what age do boys stop being idiots? ME *on the roof in my He-Man costume with my sword* BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL WHAT HONEY?

Not me looking for my phone under the couch with the flashlight on my phone

Handisnacks doesn’t even give you a little red piece of plastic to spread your cheese anymore. It’s fend for yourselves out here

Breaking: Burger King announces nationwide one-day closure on June 14.

Report: ICE is under such pressure to satisfy the White House by increasing deportation numbers that it may begin apprehending those who are not legally in the United States and have criminal records.

it is 2025 i should not have to take my shirt off to put my bra on i want better and more efficient titty tech

if I should die before I wake please donate my body to the dark arts

it's bullshit that a panic attack doesn't attack my panic

Keep asking my Irish coworker what day it so she has to say Friday the tirt-teent

Pete Hegseth is so drunk right now he just deployed the Marines in the United States.

The fun thing about having a 9 year old is that sometimes they will insist that Baja Blast Gerber baby food is real based on a meme they saw

if I told you you have a nice body would you let me bury it in a shallow grave and put sunglasses on the headstone

This guy is going to be graveyard dead from a massive embolism shitting on the toilet tomorrow

Excited and a bit nervous to run Dorian Gray’s picture through this aging filter.

Me, entering another online food debate

with alt text

Many hands make light work and also AI images.

sadly, nowdays if you try to go to www.onmeth.com the site no longer works, though i'm proud to know it was a minnesota agency that convinced them this was a good idea.

Can't wait for tonight to rewatch this week's zoom meetings

uncritical support to iran (scott jennings is also in tel aviv btw) 🇮🇷

wow i knew writers were no longer getting much respect, but i had no idea it was a racial slur

i ordered starbucks at work today & i was waiting outside my company’s door for the delivery person & i see a guy coming towards me w a bag so i grab it & say “hi is this for kim?” & he grabs it back & says no it’s my lunch so i look up and it’s one of the attorneys i work with so i have to quit now

No Kings BUT Many Queens

Inventory of Beck’s estate: -2 turntables -1 microphone haha I've posted this lame joke so many times I'm like a has-been singer on the fair circuit singing the chorus of my one big hit an octave lower to a small gathering of the elderly holding red solo cups while waiting for the porta-potty

haha I'm trying to get 28 Beers Later bro

Scotland getting angry and partying cos it's a righteous shindig nation

my brain will be like ‘here are 53 reasons your best friend hates you actually’ when they’re being quiet because they’re doing normal shit like grocery shopping or having a long poop at the grocery store that turns into an embarrassing ordeal with a dearth of toilet paper and an overflowing toilet

going to the dragon choosing, the culmination of the arduous years of my training as a rider. one of these powerful and mystical beasts will gaze deep into my soul and an unbreakable bond will be forged between our spirits that won't falter till we die. Oh God damn it the ugly one picked me fuck fuc

when a cat rubs up against my leg

I am outing myself as one of those people who has big irrational phobias of Friday the 13th. If you think you can cure me, by all means, please tell me how stupid it is while I sit quietly under my desk breathing into a paper bag

Tremendous Kevin, the fictional squirrel who I use as a scapegoat for my frequent acts of criminal mischief, has really crossed a line this time

Discover cannot / will not / does not "show less like this"

Let’s not lose sight of the fact that President Trump is such a loser he had to demand his employees throw a birthday party for him.

Tesla promises it can get this up to ten consecutive tests.

stoop kid had it all figured out

sorry for being a nihilist I just stopped my wellbutrin

Tired: me at 2 pm Wired: me at 2 am

Can we agree no matter what happens the two party system is a bust

I like to check in on my home state every now and then and see how it's going. It looks like chiropractors run the sub now.

The lack of Nazis on Bluesky is pushing me back to the Nazi bar.

I have complained every day of my life since I started talking

getting my pussy ate guys

forget pillows let’s build a fort out of sandwiches

well i was waiting in the car while these photos were taken and let me tell you I got a lot of weird looks from the cops