Recent posts by Internet Weirdos on Bluesky

And now, on the eve of his day, we celebrate our one true Father, Jesus Fucking Christ.

🎶 Last night a BJ saved my life

found the reflecting pool culprit

Eurovision contestant from a small nation

Hear that, kids? Father on the roof!

you guys didn’t know me in 2021 but i had a soccer mullet that summer. don’t have the patience to do that again but it was fun at the time

ok who among my mutuals is having group chats behind my back?

There is nothing in the world as silent as Elon Musk's phone on Father's Day.

You're not allowed to reach into the Reflecting Pool because that's where they're hiding the unreleased Epstein files.

the tension between needing to run into jessica vosk on the streets of nyc for the vibe upgrade vs being no where near nyc

wearing this to the 4th of july bbq

The White House is tainted and gross now. Well it always was but now it really is

"That's the President's algae, you can't take it!"

I slept for 10 hours. No need to, I’m blocking myself.

"Is the Reflecting Pool filled or empty?" is the new "Is the Strait of Hormuz open or closed?"

So apparently, "don't worry, babe! nothing happened in the vip room with that chick, I had been doing so much coke that I couldn't even get it up" is not the answer you give when your wife says she found out that you went to the strip club last night

So that's what they're going with.

I have touched the algae that were in the reflecting pool and which you were probably saving for the president Forgive me they were irresistible so slimy and so green

Pirahnas aren't nearly as common a threat as movies have led me to believe

saturday songs this is one of my favorite music videos. it’s so simple and fun and I love this song. the confetti on the cymbal is a highlight.

some people think a plunging neckline is sexy but i prefer a backless dress so i can show off my bones

I'm a really hot psychic. You could say I'm psychotic.

Does anyone need 5 egg whites

concert tickets are so expensive that I can only afford to see Tegan or Sara

Hey dads – and moms who’ve filled in for dads – if you’ve ever woken up in a cold sweat wondering if you’ve been a good dad, you have been.

keep forgetting karoline leavitt is gen z; her husband is a boomer

I took a lot of blood thinners but it didn’t make me skinnier.

Reflecting Pool Algae advances to the FIFA World Cup Round of 32.

I went to the store to get a pound of ground pork for Bolognese sauce, but pork shoulder was $1.99/lb so now I have to make Bolognese sauce and 7 pounds of sausage

Don't the National Guard in DC have more important things to do, like mulching?

There's a new plan

This made me cry but joyfully

everyone’s always putting a lyric in their pop song telling the dj to turn it up. nobody ever says “dj put it back to normal now.” i do love the idea of a dj being surprised the artist always asks them to turn it up though. “man i can never get it loud enough for rihanna. maybe next time”

id probably fall for a trap if the bait was jello shots

wonder if she still dumps like a truck

If you have me on notifications we're in a relationship you just have to warn me.

hot soft older brother

im gonna start calling my boyfriend big bro instead this is getting too weird

Me and this robin have a symbiotic relationship: I rake up leaves and wood chips while thinking about every mistake I’ve ever made, and she eats worms

If you need me, I'll be in the Nirvana chat room.

Advertise your Bluesky account with a Simpsons gif

Good omen has a season 3

One night you will sleep straight through without having to get up to pee for the last time and you won't know it

Vice President JD Vance to fly to Switzerland to negotiate with the algae.

Nick offerman is a fish on prime

Vice President to fly to Switzerland to negotiate with the algae.

"That paint was supposed to float to the top."

Arresting sunlight on the longest day of the year.

that kid was profiled for wearing JNCOs

put la croix in the reflecting pool

jfk and sylvia plath, two iconic figures from american history whose heads just did that

Hot boy summer shirts have arrived

Happy birthday to me

You love to see Côte d'Ivoire dominating Deutschland

*racing my friend to the surface after a dive because I heard that the winner gets a Mercedes*

MFer said Reflecting Poll.

Did they arrest biology?

So-called "experts" at the zoo tell me that I can't keep climbing into the penguin enclosure. Demonstrably false.

That Reflecting Pool isn't going to de-algae itself.

It was me. I put algae in the reflecting pool. I also put the hat on Melania. I put sugar in the gas tank of the plane from Qatar and I also shit in his pants to frame him

During sexy time: HYDRATION BREAK

Guy: before we fight, I should tell you that I know Kung Fu Me: who's that Guy: my neighbor, he knows karate and he'll beat your ass

sylvia plath alt detected

don’t worry, the president has announced (real) that they are launching a full ass investigation into the leftist vandals who did this.

A Tesla can serve briefly as a pool floatie.

Checking my armpits for the bulbs of the plague, disappointed to find that most suspicious marks are just ingrown hairs.

but day spensive

happiness is directly proportional to how much money you pretend to have everyone knows this

I’m gonna take a nap and there’s nothing you can do to stop me

Found JD Vance’s biography

showing up in the timeline

Trump is clearly in bed with Big Algae.

I prefer integrity over loyalty.

he just wrote a book

Olipop minis attt walmart..

being inside a 2000 degeee fahrenheit kiln would fix me

puddins and I hope you're having a lovely Saturday ❤️

Philidelphia cream cheese making cream cheese icing.. duh .. long over due

For the record, the dollar ain't stretching lately

One thing my neighbor and I almost always agree on is whether or not it’s gonna be a hot one today

hi! i'm imitation johnny knoxville, welcome to backrooms

me: I got you this storage unit her: no not that kind of space

Thought of you. Picked you up some Dude wipes at Walmart.

Wake up, it's smoothie season Go get fruit at the cheapest and most ripe it will be.. not from Walmart_trust me

susan is the backbone of this household how dare you call them lazy

my husband still hasn't seen backrooms so we are going to watch it tomorrow. i am pretty sure the last time i saw a movie in theatres more than twice was the first pirates of the caribbean in 2003 lol

Clearly, if you’re not willing to pay higher prices for gas and energy, tax cuts for the uber-wealthy and corporations, and a Presidential ballroom, and AI data centers, and oligarch profiteering… You’re not a Patriot.

bacteria bf still life gf

Aldi blackberries have been fire consistently

if we don't get a Toxic Avenger musical revival out of this, what are we even doing?

WE LOVE DA BOX #Orkboys

I bet Sir Topham Hatt can fuck.

So, just because you didn’t ask… You can support human rights in the Middle East without being anti-Semitic.

🚫bra 🚫panties ✅hanes cushioned crew socks

I should have purchased the croissants

that moment of relief when you realize those ugly age spots are actually just gravy splatter