Recent posts by Internet Weirdos on Bluesky

Someone recommended Brooklyn Nine-Nine and I like it, a lot. Am I lame? (wrong answers only)

if any of you wil the lottery today can i have a million?

Being an adult sucks. I bought some food that turned out to be disgusting, but I’m eating it anyway because I can’t afford to waste food. If I was a kid, I’d just throw it on the floor and scream.

[soeaking at the emergency town meeting] I don't get why everyone is so concerned that all the dinosaurs broke out of Dinosaur Park. dinosaurs are cool and would be my friend

what the fuck. why is there a terrifying derp bird. this is so fucked up

listen I'm as afraid of the portals as you are but we can't let that rule our lives

fuck yeah, ‘chances are’ is on the roku app

Magritte, but in German

Beto won’t let me pet him, but I’m leaving in the morning for six days and he’ll be sorry 👿

Nice try, yet my post had nothing to do with 9/11. Fuck off.

sad news out of DC tonight. donald trump has been found alive at age 79.

Point Roberts, Washington State

At that awkward age where I want a sugar baby but can't afford one.

My whimsy knows no bounds. No wait. That's my anxiety. My anxiety knows no bounds.

It's the microplastics world now.

(Jeopardy) Ken: My producers tell me there's one thing you did every day during the 90's. Me: Yes Ken, *leans forward* that would be your mom.

don't care what anyone says, I like that movie

"I am the most prized of Yakub's children."

When I learned about Tralalero Tralala my brain rotted three sizes that day

[shaking fist] YAAAAAKKKKKUUUUUUUUUUBBB!!!!!

they don’t tell you this at the door, but you can hang out at panera for like 10 hours and no one will care

When I learned about Tralalero Tralala my brain rotted three sizes that day

Holy shit you can get custom 0.7l Jägermeister bottles with the branding, but your own photo! @cheshirestardis.bsky.social @revnedv.bsky.social gonna have to dig out that photo of That Time Ned Fucked The Apple

Holy shi you can get custom 0.7l Jägermeister bottles with the brading, but your own photo @cheshirestardis.bsky.social @revnedv.bsky.social gonna have to find that photo of The Time Ned Fucked The Apple

Try not to be alarmed, but the Sky Crab has a wizard hat now

Holy shit you can get custom 0.7l Jägermeister bottles with your own photo on the label @cheshirestardis.bsky.social @nedv.bsky.social Gonna have to dig out The One Where Ned Fucks an Apple

AI has gotten TOO good imo

For someone who calls herself a people pleaser, very few people are actually pleased with me

...well I think I *gotta* try it #Jaegrmeister #Jagermeister #Jägermeister

[pitching movie ideas] • it’s a horror movie but about eating at Burger King • a horror movie but a friend needs help to move • a horror movie but the neighbors invite you over for dinner • a horror movie but the world’s out of all stimulants • a horror movie but it’s found footage of news from 2025

Seems weird that Trump hired the Weekend at Bernie's special effects team to join his secret service protection detail

The blackjack tables just not going your way? Good luck finding a new god!

put muppets on the cover of a few books: thread

we weren’t afraid to say the truth

beef tallow me banana

“Whoosagubboy?!?”

bebé’s bogarting that binky

Anti-vaxxers (fucking idiots) spewing about the toxins in vaccines with a face full of botulism will never not be funny to me. (While also completely enraging me)

Anti-vaxxers (fucking idiots) spewing about the toxins in vaccines with a face full of botulism will never not be funny to me. (While also completely enraging me)

a true friend reaches for your hand and puts an iced coffee in it.

a true friend reaches for your hand and puts an iced coffee in it.

24hr emergency hotline for when you urgently need to talk to someone about a weird bird you just saw

Tchaikovsky's rivals having to begrudgingly admit that his new song really does sound like something a sugar plum fairy would dance to.

your telling me a k popped this demon?

me and my new followers

Will misogyny cease to exist because a woman who’s notoriously hated by misogynists is engaged to be married? Absolutely. I have no doubt. Next question

He’s referring to McDonalds bringing back the Pumpkin & Crème Pie

St Peter was the first gatekeeper, he hated anyone who listened to modern punk music

St Peter was the first gatekeeper, he hated anyone who listened to modern punk music

I asked ChatGPT to sell my penis as me, infomercial style

I asked ChatGPT to sell my penis as me, infomercial style

They should make a self cleaning apartment

They should make a self cleaning apartment

The crew trying to figure out what a car is two hours into the acid trip

The crew trying to figure out what a car is two hours into the acid trip

in my lucky girl era

in my lucky girl era

St Peter was the first gatekeeper, he hated anyone who listened to modern punk music

St Peter was the first gatekeeper, he hated anyone who listened to modern punk music

I asked ChatGPT to sell my penis as me, infomercial style

I asked ChatGPT to sell my penis as me, infomercial style

They should make a self cleaning apartment

They should make a self cleaning apartment

The key to avoid disappointments is to ignore everything.

My cat knows all my PINs and passwords

Every family had a grocery bag full of grocery bags, like a Russian nesting doll made of plastic.

Sometimes I wonder if my soulmate has already blocked me on here.

No Man's Sky about to look FANFUCKINGTASTIC

Them: Failure is not an option. Me: Then how have I picked it so many times?

workshopping posts

I love the sense of perspective in this. Beautiful.

Imagine being the first caveman to sneeze. Everyone else probably thought he invented thunder.

I put my phone face down so it wouldn’t watch me cry.

when the dog at someone else's house doesn't like you

Here to judge the skeets

Some kids became douchebags because they watched Fight Club too many times I became a douchebag because I watched High Fidelity too many times

Going to hail in Calgary. Wonder if everyone is racing to the bridges so they can park unsafely under them like assholes?

The GPS voice told me to “turn left,” but I turned right. Congratulations to me for inventing free will.

WAITER: what else can i get you ME: nothing thanks WAITER: okay I’ll get the check ME: *balls fists* what did i just say

Guests stealing food from the trash dumpsters are missing out on the many great condiments available at our restaurants.

Saturday vibes

i could fold laundry, but that chair is basically a closet now

I think he forgot how to cat

My life was forever changed the day Vincent D'Onofrio gently lifted me up so I could see the stars, that was really nice of him

need one that’s just “oops! all gravy”

Schrödinger's Razor: When you're not sure if an explanation is simplest unless you witness its existence

out of the way orwell i have tolkien ideas.

guy who relates every situation he ever encounters to “that one scene in old yeller”

Listen to Spot a Fake on your streaming service tidal.com/track/387332...

Someone on TikTok had a point ladies, now is the best time of the year to get on dating apps because the worst men in the world are at Burning Man

My skeletons have their own closets.

You learn something new every day. My kid just said "dad did you know that cows have like 500 boobs??" and honestly, I did not know that

finally watched the new nosferatu cuz i had heard good things…. was it “good”? no was it “bad”? no was it a good time? no did i enjoy myself? no would i watch it again? no am i disappointed i watched it? no really enjoyed the camera work in the first half though.

Please donate if you can. Share regardless. My heart breaks everyday watching, imagine living through it?

tired: live, laugh, love inspired:

me: dating is hard me on a date: like what if godzilla was an atheist and we just named him that

My right arm is still fucked from a sprained wrist and dislocated elbow, so I am fashioning a new arm out of hamburger meat and pretzel sticks, but I am doing it left handed and it probably won't work very well as a replacement.

Hey I bought a bunch of garden pavers. Do I have to level this ground out.. it won’t stop raining here and I have a swamp under the dog door