Recent posts by Internet Weirdos on Bluesky

Had a self-checkout assistance clerk let me take a bag of expensive jerky because she didn’t want to go look for the price. I hope she’s having a good day.

I saw poet @stevenleyva.bsky.social and several other Cave Canem poets this afternoon at Motor House here in Baltimore. Check out Steven’s incredible new collection - “The Opposite of Cruelty” - here: blairpub.com/shop/p/the-o...

her: I’m thinking of writing an open letter to the mayor me: oh cool, which one? “u”? “c”? her: why are you like this

in this time of strife it's important to remember that die hard 2 is also a christmas movie

It’s 5:45 pm. Time to put a towel over my cage

Have studios that make bad movies considered making good ones instead?

Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.

instead of flowers people should throw ham slices onto the ice those skaters need protein

I will never forget where I was when Pearl Harbor was attacked — not existing.

I thought she was about to lay some lines out at 32 seconds

bsky is a banquet and by that I mean a cheap frozen tv dinner

remember the scene in Die Hard where Bruce Willis gives the guy a watch for Christmas

using VATS to light a bowl

From a pre-trip presser that I thought was really cool: Member of the press: “Your holiness, do you think it’s safe to go to Lebanon?” The Pope: “Well, we’re going.”

was it ever okay to do the macarena

do I want to maroon fruit of the loom men's sweatsuit or the heather grey fruit of the loom men's sweatsuit

We'd have all been better off if Jimmy really did Eat World

Movie you've watched more than six times with a Gif. Hard mode-no Star Wars, Marvel.

Santa's got tighty whities on under that fur suit. Looks like he's smuggling sugar plums.

It's very helpful when movies have the notice at the beginning that says "this film has been modified from its original version. It has been formatted to fit your screen." I otherwise never would have known that what I'm seeing on my TV is smaller than what I'd see at the theater.

President Trump advocates for new “birthwhite” citizenship.

I regret to inform you this song is a bit wack

🎶 got no human grace 🎶

Also not something you get to kill them for!

we're all adults here and human beings. for good or ill, we do all pee and poop, I suppose it is the great leveler of class and wealth. you can't fancy it up or pretend you don't do it. even she is going to shit. the horror

Them...are you avoiding me? Me..probably.

I’m sorry but Peter Sweden sounds like what Donald Trump calls every Ambassador to Sweden

ask him about the soup sometime

My safe word is falalala.

My student debt is so old it just got accepted to college

I have decided to stop being a piece of shit 25 days earlier than last year

With Vanity Fair and Olivia Nuzzi parting ways who gets custody of Ryan Lizza?

it took until the weed for me to realize this isn’t laura loomer

Well, I guess we're having partridge with pear sauce again for dinner

When are the Bluesky post awards (the Skeeties) streaming?

“But AI tells us that people want more AI.”

Maybe the lion should concern himself with the opinions of the sheep maybe the sheep has some really interesting thoughts on Star Wars continuity

man, you live in fucking ireland & have no shortage of audacity to respond like this to a woman living in the u.s. who was posting about her husband getting disappeared by ICE, before suspending her account you get off on performative cruelty

Really want to make my own “best of 2025” tv and movie lists, but I am way too adhd. I’d be remembering important titles and making edits in 2027.

eating too many light bulbs can cause LED poisoning heyooo💡

One thing mastodon has that I wish we had: the ability to make replies private. Sometimes, you just want to make a personal comment, or say something that only the OP will understand. Sending an actual dm in most cases like that would be weird and over-the-top.

I read that last line as: “Quote posts are a gay area of the law…”

They gay boats yearn for the gay mines

My cat took a shit that woke me up from a nap today

snek

they begged me to be the queen of venus but i said no bsky needs me to stay here and post

when she’s the man came out I was a little too old for it so I didn’t see it even though twelfth night is a fav. Just watched it the other day and that was really not bad. I’d watch that again.

The Definition of Sex and the Three Genders

joe burrow with the new butt fumble

SANTA HAS BROWN SKIN HE IS A MIDDLE EASTERN JEW HELLO

Snow games in Buffalo are a renaissance painting

this shit is so tiresome airmail.news/issues/2025-...

World Cup games upon their conclusion will now name both a Most Valuable Player and a Most Peaceful Player.

voting for baby hepatitis is some freak shit & then you remember that she married stephen miller on purpose

I got some randomness done and that feels efficient

Finally, serious journalism that I can back and we can all get behind

*gets last year’s eggnog out of the attic*

Uh-oh. Guess he didn’t hold up his full end of the bribe. Fuck Henry Cuellar. He’s bad for Texas, and I hope his district finally figured that out. He didn’t give two shits about them — and THAT right there is one of the major problems with gerrymandered districts, even if they’re blue.

there be dragons fruit

Just tried saying “fling poop,” and it came out “pling floop,” which will henceforth be my alien name.

Ooh, Pleasure™️ is my favorite. I love to enjoy things. I know, I know, I’m a weirdo How to get your ethically sourced pleasure - Big Think

*waving the next 20 people ahead after the person in front of me at In-N-Out gets number 48*

Never forget that when the Nazis sunk the SS Peleus and then killed the shipwrecked survivors, it was treated as a war crime and prosecuted as such after the war.

me: *searches to see if anyone has done this post before* oh

really looking forward to pulling my cat out of the christmas tree every few hours for the next month

Christmas tree ornament drip.

calling 911 because I think I accidentally took a second multivitamin

sending morse code messages in military crisis is such a waste of time, just use your voice and tell us what happened

Hate is a strong word. I need a stronger one.

the funniest Frank line is either CREAM PIES! or "you gotta pay the troll toll if you want in this boysoul! you gotta pay the troll toll to get in!"

I have never seen Die Hard at Christmas or otherwise

I hate restaurants where they won’t let you bring your own mariachi band.

to the extent that any part of the Nuzzi story could possibly be "underdiscussed", it's definitely been underdiscussed that Nuzzi's motivation was apparently "get pregnant with a Kennedy child"??

christ, he looks like bill skarsgaard as pennywise the clown, but the hydrocephalic head is backed up blue balls

you can take my life, but you cannot take my soul and I am absolutely taking your dick

you can take my life but you cannot take my soul and I am absolutely with complete certainty taking your dick

you can take my life but you cannot take my soul and you are definitely, viciously losing your dick

this is so dumb. why would i do this to myself. anyway im doing it again

sexualizing my attachment to this life

[being murdered]: ugh. so blocking you

the boy with the dragon ball tattoo

"Sure they may have raised their arms potentially to surrender. But what if they were doing the hokey pokey?"

guys im thinking breakfast

Hold the Republicans accountable for their crimes? No way. We don't want to set that precedent for when it's our turn to do crimes.

training my cat in the ancient martial art of ripping the dicks off our enemies.

"I don't think it matters all that much what they were trying to do." So it doesn't matter if they were even trying to surrender. Huh.

Everyone say happy 16th to my youngest daughter, Travis Jr III

The Trump Administration declared it would reveal classified sources and methods of if it were to release the portion of the boat strike video where it committed murder.

Grand mal leisure suit.

I’m making it my business to watch all of the classic Peanuts specials. It doesn’t pay well, but what are you gonna do

they say "Jesus take the wheel," but have we ever established whether Jesus had a valid driver's license

ME: i’m going to jump in the shower real quick WIFE: okay [5 minutes later] WIFE: hello 911 my husband jumped in the shower

just broke the news to my grandma and she hurled her fake teeth into the ceiling fan and locked herself in the closet. we all deal w grief differently

It was me. I sank the Edmund Fitzgerald. Sorry.

Why does Kash Patel always look like he just sharted?

not only is all of my xmas shopping done, everything is wrapped and what needs to be shipped is so now i have all of this free time left to cry

“A license-plate reader captured Cole’s car less than a mile from where the bomber first appeared on foot, and FBI photogrammetry estimated the bomber’s height as consistent with Cole’s” If true, why did it take YEARS to find and arrest him?

We promise to commercialize Christmas as much as possible.

There's never been a just war. #MarkTwain