My posts...

I work for the government, and I shut down a long time ago. No one cared.

I don’t know. I guess I’m back. Hi.

I’m somewhat of an aviator myself. *Throws poorly made paper airplane straight into the ground.*

Most people are excited for the band lineup at Riot Fest to be announced. I’ve just been patiently waiting for the food vendor lineup, and it’s finally here!

Thanks for the sunburn, LA. Time to fly home. I’m tired.

One flight, a bus, a train, and a 3-mile walk later, I’ve made it to the beach!

530am. At the airport. Just got told the bar at the lounge doesn’t open until 6am. I’ve never felt more accused of being an alcoholic.

Just found my second ever grey hair. At what point can I legally refer to myself as a silver fox?

The walk of shame is still good for your step count. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Que será, will not será. Sorry.

Frigidaire…frigid air. Just got it. Haha. Good one.

Race you to zero followers, go!

Just did some park ranger stuff.* *Tried to 5150 a crayfish.

Stop staring at my gray sweatpants. Yes, it’s a banana in my pocket, you creep.

Two cops just walked past me, and one asked the other if I was a cop. I feel judged. We are not the same even though we have the same pants.

Beatwood Mac.

Back at the Las Vegas airport. It still feels like where dreams go to die. Anyway, it was a fun 7 hours, Vegas!

Ok. I did Vegas for a few hours. I’m ready to go home.

Las Vegas airport smells like cigarettes and disappointment.

I often stare at the departures board and don’t even remember where I’m going.

I see you with your ceaseless iPhone. I get it, you’re rich. Douche.