greatest hits

i’m sick of uploading everything to “””the cloud””” i wanna save all my important files on floppy disks and put stickers and gel pen on the labels!!!!

ok guys so here are the war plans. 𝘚𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘮𝘺 𝘏𝘢𝘮𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘍𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘨𝘦©️

hot singles in your area wanna be melted between two perfectly grilled pieces of bread (they are kraft singles)

we’re so back!!!!!

when someone starts a post "Gen X here." you know you're about to read ~something~

wow i need to log off i heard a bunch of seagull commotion on my way home and literally my first thought was “ooh, a lot of discourse happening in the seagull community”

yeah i’m a tradwife: unable to keep up with basic daily tasks due to suspected psychiatric issues, so i will eventually be lobotomized

microplastic, it’s fantastic🎶

i showed u my war plans pls respond

why stop at the cat’s pajamas? the dog’s overalls. the snake’s suspenders. the fish’s negligee. the slug’s snuggie!

oh sure when chatGPT hallucinates on the job it’s just making mistakes and learning but when 𝑰 hallucinate on the job i’m “on drugs” and “need to leave immediately”

the MK in MKULTRA stands for marykate (olsen, obviously)

alexa, turn my depression off

a separate internet for girls only

good morning besties, what fresh manmade horrors are beyond our comprehension today?

a seinfeld episode where kramer is the one who was accidentally added to the war plans group chat

putting my antidepressants in this

um help i accidentally uploaded my soul to chatGPT and now they’re claiming its their intellectual property

wait ok explain this to me real slow... wait. so you.. 1. deleted all your climate regulations 2. are pushing to expand oil & gas 3. u wanna "drill baby drill" 4. think climate change is just a big woke hoax but you want *us* to be "held accountable" for our wildfire smoke....................... ok.

the face that cronched a thousand chips