www.cnn.com
My fellow Americans! Should the aliens invade, let these be my final words to humanity
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Instructor: Pop the clutch.
Me: Okay.
Instructor: Snap the clutch.
Me: Wait
Instructor: Crackle the clutch
Me: (realizing the instructor is three elves in a trenchcoat)
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subtly downgrade a band
Thallium Zeppelin
Sorbitol Tungsten Rods@filthyjasminetea.bsky.social
subtly downgrade a band Nick Crevice and the Bad Seeds
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So apparently there's another Rapture scheduled for Tuesday which means there is a new funniest day to delete your Twitter account.
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If a child wants cookies an hour before dinner and you tell him no, so he records you scolding him and uploads it to YouTube with the headline “UNHINGED parent wants child to STARVE” do we think maybe we’re past the “reasonable debate” stage.
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Hey since the Rapture is Tuesday can I have your car
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If you have me muted: Good. This is the correct approach to any President
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Live
Laugh
LOSE YOURSELF
IN THE MUSIC
THE MOMENT
YOU OWN IT, YOU BETTER NEVER LET IT GO
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Anyone defending Charlie Kirk this week.
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It takes a lot of effort to process people.
One might even say it requires … concentration
unraveled@unraveledpress.com
At the Broadview ICE "processing facility" outside Chicago. Earlier today, federal agents unleashed chemical weapons on protesters, elected officials, a local congressional candidate, and a local mayor. Defiant anti deportation activists remain. Another protest is planned for 7pm.
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My hip hop name would be White Cheddar
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It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day, so: The USA is a dictatarrrrrrrrrrship
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BREAKING: Trump believed it was butter, so has fired the entire board of directors. “Very bad people,” he said, spreading real butter on his Big Mac
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Do we think the only reason Seth Meyers is still on the air is he’s on after the President’s bedtime
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The opposite of the Reichstag Fire is the Magic Johnson Moment.
In 1990 Johnson went on TV to tell the world he had HIV, which shocked most Americans into realizing this was a disease anyone could get-- information we'd already been screaming from the rooftops.
I hope Kimmel is that moment now.
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A lot of you are still not prepared to live in under fascism, which is honestly surprising because i can’t be the only one whose dad got furious when I rejected his interests in favor of my own.
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Jimmy Fallon needs to open tomorrows show reciting Hannah Einbinder’s speech verbatim or he’s gonna look even more spineless than he already is
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I thought it was well-documented that Disney is more powerful than the FCC chair
Jamie Gangel@jamiegangel.bsky.social
New: FCC chair threatens ABC and Disney over Jimmy Kimmel’s remarks about Charlie Kirk www.cnn.com/2025/09/17/m...
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Why is this so difficult for journalists. Dude has the brain of a turnip: Say flattering things and he will blurt out the most damning answers to get you to like him.
Billy Bush discovered this by accident a decade ago, and that dude's not even a journalist.
@thepokeuk.bsky.social
An Australian reporter asked Trump about his business dealings, and his petulant answer tells you all you need to know about the White House right now www.thepoke.com/2025/09/17/a...
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