Jesus Skeets

Remember to ask the preacher to point to the verse in the Bible where Jesus said to hate those people

Don't fret, BlueSky dies every memorial day, like Jesus at Easter

What if Jesus has been back dozens of times but we keep killing him

Another week of Jesus telling us to love each other and us failing miraculously

Jesus is my Valentine, heathens

Let's face it they could have chosen Jesus Christ himself as Pope and he'd be too woke for them, because they aren't CHRISTIAN

[The Last Thanksgiving] Jesus: *passing out the stuffing* This is my body. *passing the gravy* This is my blood. *picks up the cranberry sauce* Judas: And what's that? Jesus: Betrayal Judas, it's betrayal!

My favorite parable from the Bible is when Jesus turned water into lube at the orgy.

Me: Hey, AI Pope, why was everyone washing Jesus' feet? AI Pope: According to leading experts at The Onion most people of his day had a foot fetish

I'm not going to clutch my pearls over the shooting of a person who fueled the flames of political violence for years, and I don't think Jesus would either

If Pepsi had existed in Jesus' time, the Roman would have put that to his lips instead

If Jesus hadn't been circumcised we could have had cheese with our bread and wine.