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This excerpt from The Grapes of Wrath. The more things change and what not.
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Thinking about moving to a blue state but I don't know if there's Texas Toast there
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Wow. Internet!
Gareth P Jones@garethpjones.bsky.social
Today's song is this funky number reminding you to fill in your taxes in a timely manner, as suggested yesterday by @johnnyfrittata.bsky.social. This is #ScrollTheMusical, now officially the longest, ongoing online musical in the world. youtu.be/jpNO0xZJXTA
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"There's got to be more to life than this."—guy who only knows about one thing
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Torn on going to a mini impromptu high school reunion tonight. On one hand, the thought of seeing these people and dealing with past demons fills me with an unbearable existential dread. On the other hand, I'm having an amazing hair day.
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Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, you've got to hold on for one more day.
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at my funeral
through use of pulley system
I can wave to you
johnny myspace@johnnymyspace.bsky.social
At my funeral, hook me up to an intricate pulley system so I can wave to everyone as they enter.
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Protest Leader: What do we want?!
Me (after missing the crowd's response because I was too busy panicking I'd say the wrong thing): Yes! The thing! The very thing everyone else said is also what I want!
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Every Thursday!
johnny myspace@johnnymyspace.bsky.social
[my boys pull up in an open top jeep] Tanner: Yo, boy! We're headed to Sonic for the $1.49 Chili Cheese Coney sale! Wanna come with? Blaze: Gonna be epic! Me: Sorry broskis. My tum tum hurts. Jax: Your loss, mi amigo! Tanner, Blaze, and Jax (driving away): SONIC! SONIC! SONIC!
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waving the flag of Arendelle at the ICE protests
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It's kill or be killed when you share a nacho plate with me, baby
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Being murdered for quote posting is how I always envisioned my death.
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I would like to apologize to both the Ornithological and Felinological Societies for this erroneous science. Also apologies to the National Cheerleaders Association.
johnny myspace@johnnymyspace.bsky.social
If cats could figure out how to work together and do cheerleading pyramids, it'd be all over for birds.
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Doctor: Please, sit down. Let's play Battleship.
Me: Uh… why?
Doctor: Don’t you want to know your… F8?
Me, sighing: Oh. I get it. Is it… B9?
Doctor: Hit!
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Playing with my dinghy on a waterbed (not a euphemism)
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The Lady of the Lake from the bosom of the water held aloft a blender, various tropical fruits, and protein powder, signifying by divine providence that I was to be the Smoothie King.
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You've been murdered, who do you want on your case?
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Me, trying to impress my date: I'll have the nasal cannula.
Waiter, nodding politely: Excellent choice, sir. Would you like that with a light marinara for easier insertion?
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[skimming the crossword subreddit]
Me: Wow. These people know how to...what's a 5 letter word for a group of people waiting to be seated at a restaurant?
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Really sad the Internet went with rating things based on 5 stars. I give the Internet 56 out of 100 stars.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
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[someone gets stabbed in a movie]
Moms: You should put some Neosporin on that!
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Me: Stuffing is cooked on the inside. Dressing is cooked on the outside.
Officer strapping me into the electric chair: Wait...what did you have for your last meal?
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Forwarding this to all the teachers that told me I'd never amount to anything.
@thepokeuk.bsky.social
25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week. www.thepoke.com/2025/01/29/2...
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