ImWIntersMom

🎵 Sell me pies, sell me sweet little pies

My 8 yr old daughter found out I had an eating disorder when younger. She started crying and gave me a hug and said "I love you so much mommy..." She's gonna have a hard road in this life with such an empathetic pure heart. I get it. But it's hard.

Wendy's just asked if I wanted a bun with my chicken sandwich I was confused

"Not gonna lie," he lied

Got a raise so now I'll only be really poor

Just because he didn't do it to you, doesn't mean it didn't happen

There's no excuse for liking the big bang theory. None

Even the men here think the men here are morons

I don't do dishes. I do men who do dishes.

Got invited to a clam bake. Imagine my embarrassment when I showed up with a fresh Brazilian and weed

if banana were spelled like mississippi it would be bannannanna

Starting a gofuckme campaign

How come squirrels have cheek pouches when nut sack was right there

the inventor of childproof bottles put little faith in kids and a lot of faith in old people

not needing to be fixed would fix me

I put on a bra and brushed my teeth before going in public today. Still didn't get laid

Women putting down a woman for owning her sexual energy is the definition of patriarchy

If someone says you mean the world to me, take a look around, its not a compliment

guy outside my window is talking to his cat and im 93% sure his cat has no idea what he's saying