harpy party

after you die Guy Fieri weighs your heart against a rack of ribs to see if you will be admitted into Flavortown

having a long heartfelt conversation in the back of my dragula

turning 40 in a few weeks and feeling somewhat vindicated that all the punkrock ideals I had as a teen are still with me and constantly proven correct

remember to scroll back to the top of the webpage before leaving so that it's ready for the next person

more mayors should be cheeseburgers

you never see a commercial for onions. everyone just kinda knows about them

gonna go to the mall and make some people fall in love

dr pepper is balsamic pepsi

I bet reanimated skeleton warriors don't have to wake up tomorrow and spend all day on the computer

ankle holster containing a smaller backup hotdog

omg look at these dudes on an adventure together

nachos for algernon

horses are one of the largest and most handsome types of dog

I don't want to work on the Internet I want to ride around on a horse and hit people with a sword

the people that always like your posts are secretly in love with you but the people who never like your posts are secret secretly in love with you

wait a minute, i don't even Like the internet

once a year we should round up the 100 richest people and ceremonially beat them to death with sticks

getting railed in the sundress of ideas

girls only want one thing and it's to run swiftly and silently through the dark and forbidding forest, tasting the scent of their prey on the cool night air

*rips bra off like hulk hogan*

well, hopefully the next CEO assassin is somebody more likeable