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- 💙 Liked by 3 users
- 📅 Updated 5 months ago
- ⚙️ Provider skyfeed.me
bangers by frovo Likes over time
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The feed bangers by frovo gains approximately 0 likes per month.
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if you like christmas so much why don’t you merry it
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JOSEPH: got any rooms
INNKEEPER: no
JOSEPH: i want to see your manager
INNKEEPER: okay but i think it’s pronounced “manger”
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COP: do you know why i pulled you over
RFK JR: could be any number of things tbh
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LAUREN BACALL: you just put your lips together and blow
HUMPHREY BOGART: *holding nintendo cartridge* i know how to get it to work lauren
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*forgets to bring phone into the bathroom* i’m off the grid
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BOSS: we need a name for this sandwich restaurant
MARKETING: jimmy restrooms
BOSS: what no
MARKETING: jimmy lavatories
BOSS: absolutely not
MARKETING: jimmy toilets
BOSS: come on now
MARKETING: jimmy johns
BOSS: oh i love it
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Liam Neeson: table for one please
Waiter: whoa you're liam neeson
Liam Neeson: is that a problem
Waiter: no i was just taken by surprise
Liam Neeson: *nose to nose* i will find this "surprise" and i will kill him
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you guys absolutely rule
Tim Onion@bencollins.bsky.social
Forgive the earnest post here, but one year ago this week, Global Tetrahedron took over The Onion. We've since brought back the paper and ONN, dramatically increased revenue, and hired more writers and artists. But most importantly, as other places debased themselves, we refused to bend the knee.
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ADAM: oh look the McRib is back
EVE: stop calling me that
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sorry i missed your text are you still bombing yemen
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[first day working at olive garden]
CUSTOMER: can you bring us more breadsticks
ME: (remembering when you’re here you’re family) get them yourself
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WAITER: anything for dessert
ME: i’ll have pie
WAITER: sorry we ran out of pie
ME: (knows math) that is literally impossible
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me: it doesn’t have a tail so i’m pretty sure it’s a hamster
tech support: okay fine right-click the hamster
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WAITER: any questions
ME: *scanning menu* how is the power
WAITER: it’s great
ME: okay i’ll have the power
WAITER: that comes with a side of responsibility, is that okay
ME:
WAITER:
ME: you know what i’ll have the chicken
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2003
[peanut butter factory]
BOSS: okay keep crushing these nuts until they are smooth and creamy
ME: (about to invent crunchy peanut butter) yeah sure okay
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2007
LAWYER: where were you on the night of the murder
ME: in the desert
LAWYER: and who were you with
ME: a horse
LAWYER: and what is the name of this horse
HORSE: (from back of courtroom) *does throat cut motion*
ME: uhhh he didn’t have one
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BOSS: you're late
ME: *grabs cup out of his hand* it's pronounced "latte" but thanks
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*sits bolt upright in bed* the opposite of pancakes is pot pies
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the correct way to pronounce "pantomime" is "panto" because the mime is silent
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