Thurlinda's Findings

@cyriltheaccountant.bsky.social Cyril! There's a new adding machine exhibit at the museum for office equipment! You should take me there and take me to my favorite Italian place and use the tablecloth as a bib and forget it's tucked in your shirt when you get up to use the restroom and everything ge

I asked my neighbor if she's the one who got my mail for me and she said no so I told her I wasn't going to thank her. Then she got mad because I wouldn't thank her for something she didn't do.

My mechanic said my tires need to be rotated and I said that the tires have been rotating since the day I got it. Anyway, my dad stands bent over like a candy cane but Christmas has been over for weeks now. I told him to go see a chiropractor and he said that's why I'm the smart one in the family.

Am I supposed to keep buying jars of stuff before I actually remember to listen for the popping sound when I open it the first time?

I accidentally took a pen from a big hotel chain. I'm glad they printed the address on it so I can mail it back because I sure don't want any trouble.

I went out for potato cakes at Arby's and ended up playing a dead soldier during a Civil War reenactment, but that's not why I'm here. Jasmine's cat, whose name is Beans, because she has the cutest little pink toe beans. The cat, not Jasmine. Oh! I found a $20 bill on the floor at the Citgo station.

My boss said for us to get to know our customers like ask them about their grandchildren so I asked somebody that and the customer said she's only 23 and I'm like just tell me about your grandchildren ffs.

flamingo- verb; the act of being your unabashed self when it defies contextual norms. "Julie will flamingo at the board meeting today in her pink hot pants."

How do YOU flamenco?

If you were President, how would YOU flamingo?

How do YOU flamingo?

How do YOU flamingo?

How do YOU flamingo?

@undeniably-oh.bsky.social I fly Trans Flamingo.

One time I threw water on guy on fire but he was just wearing a flame shirt. Anyway, Jasmine was really smart in school. They let her skip the eighth grade and she always felt like she missed out. She was going to go back until she found out that the middle school doesn't have student parking.

Jasmine changed her laundry day to Thursday and I'm like how can you upset your whole life like that?! Anyway, it rained birds this morning. There was a wedding before that and everybody was throwing rice. Then all these birds came but they were already dead so the rice didn't make them explode.

Nobody ever knew when my Uncle Alexander would get here so they'd say he'll get here when he gets here but I'm here to say when we found him he sure wasn't here.

Why are the credit card readers rushing me?! All of them tell me to swipe my card quickly and it's too much pressure! Anyway, Jasmine got her braces off and then her boyfriend left her because he apparently has a thing for braces. I wish I had braces to take off so my boyfriend would leave me!

I only had enough money to have one eyebrow waxed so I had my left brow done because it's my favorite.

Did you know there are bugs living on your face 24/7?! Try looking at your face under a microscope sometime! Anyway, we've been moving out of our apartment and I tried locking my boyfriend in a storage unit but he made his way back like cats do. I found out our storage unit doesn't have a ceiling.

I'm not in trouble if I buy something after the sell by date am I ? I'd be in trouble if it I bought if after a buy by date but I don't think there's a such thing as a buy by date. I'll ask Jasmine.

I have to go in for a drug screen to get a new job. What if a drug dealer threatens to club me over the head if I don't smoke his meth? How am I supposed to make my new employer understand that I don't smoke meth unless somebody threatens to club me over the head so I'll smoke his meth?

Omg! Did you know some people sweat blood?! Anyway, I was at a funeral (no one was sweating blood), but my 85 year old Uncle Scooter had died in a mosh pit. He liked practical jokes and I was convinced I could see him breathing. I went up to the casket and I found out I was at the wrong funeral.

I wasn't sure if I had the right of way at an intersection so I got out of my car to ask the other driver if they got there first and everybody got so fricking mad at me.

Did I tell you why I'm not allowed in any Party City store in Pennsylvania? I don't even live there. Anyway, my dad has been telling me about all the fish he's catching with worms. I told him to treat the water with ivermectin first. I've found out I already know more about fishing than he does.