Ennui Doofen 
media.tenor.com
a man in a red hoodie is standing in front of a sign that says " happies homemade "
ALT: a man in a red hoodie is standing in front of a sign that says " happies homemade "
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- đź“… Updated 5 months ago
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Her: I feel like you go out of your way to be petty.
Me: I don’t go out of my way at all. Petty is the neighborhood I live in.
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First person to prepare food table side: I cannot believe I forgot to do all of this bullshit in the back when I got here today. I sure hope it does not become a regular thing lol
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Wife: Are you crying?
Me: *Thinking about how when Steve Rogers went back to Peggy he also got to watch Tony Stark grow up* No, it’s just allergies.
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Mac n cheese but made with spaghetti. That’s it. That’s the whole post.
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Just be aware I’m charging a tariff for any comments sent from Canadia.
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Dear science, please make the sleeves of hoodies out of a non shrinking material.
Sincerely,
Boog “long arms” MaGillyCuddy
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All those women in space and not one zero gravity tiddy pic. Smh, rude.
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Gentle reminder that if your news source and its journalists only speak negatively about one political party you’re not watching news you’re watching propaganda.
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Disney: you have to pay us more if you want our movies and shows commercial free
Me: but that’s what I signed up for years ago
Disney: haha when you renewed we secretly changed that
Me: well, at least the movies I already had downloaded are still there
Disney: *lights cigar* here’s the thing lol
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If you dip pizza in ranch you’re catching these hands on sight.
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My financial planner said my investments took a little “dipsy doodle” and I suddenly feel like I’ll never be able to retire.
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Maple tree: hey Douglas, does the new guy seem weird to you?
Fir tree: Keep it down. I think he’s a cop.
New guy: I am an treeeee loool!!
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And these people *gestures broadly* are those that really only followed me because I might end up being mildly influential on here like I was on twitter but have no intention of interacting.
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Brunch is just day drinking for five hours with a plate of cold untouched eggs and French toast in front of you.
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The super cool thing about making everyone else’s life easier is how those same people never acknowledge how much harder they have made your life.
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School: let’s have a family appreciation day. We will hold it at 10:00 am in the middle of the week, on 5 days notice. You know, for the families.
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I will never understand why Disney refuses to market to their target audience. The over 40 white heterosexual conservative male.
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