Inky's Post Shack

my emotional support penguin just flew away

imagine if flamingos knew ballet

they say pride comes before a fall but a punch to the nards works just as well

the correct serving of noodles at any one sitting is always oodles

as soon as i loosen this belt it's over for you britches

[cruise liner] captain: loose lips sink ships me: *throws mick jagger overboard*

[first day as a financial advisor] have you considered embezzlement?

imagine if spiders could breakdance

Thank you to my amazing friend @unfitz.bsky.social for calling out the account who ripped off an old post of mine, appreciate you so much Fitzyyy 🥰🙏💥

A big thank you to @geekysteven.com for letting me know an older post of mine had been ripped off by another account here, much love buddy 💜💯💜💯

date: tbh i'm looking for no strings attached pinocchio: *sighs* i see

Me: i'll have the eggs Cumberbatch please Server: *winks* it's Benedict btw Me: *winks* i'll have the the eggs Cumberbatch please Benedict

olives are the grapes of wrath

a jesus themed cocktail called the last sipper

taught my dog sarcasm and now she won't stop snarking at strangers

me: how much for the goth scrabble? store clerk: that's a Ouija board

me: worms can't express my love for you but they're all i have girlfriend: you mean words lol me: *shooing away a flock of birds* just open the box babe

Medic: somebody hit you with a thesaurus, how are you feeling? Me: tempestuously indignant

Thanos is short for Jonathanos

Friend: wow that's a smoking jacket Me: thanks i set fire to it myself

i wonder what the ocean smelled like before it was full of fish