Unmehlievable's Posts

$1,000,000,000 idea: Change waste pipes into aquarium glass

I'm in a daily race with my neighbours, to see who can put their clothes outside to dry, first. The neighbours are unaware

You're fooling no-one, April

For April Fool's this year, I'm just gonna continue believing I'll fit into old clothes again

I can't stop booking trips overseas. I'm a compulsive flier

Pop fact Morrissey's Dad was the founder of UK supermarket, Morrisons

Saw a group of fans eager for Rick Astley's autograph. They weren't giving up. He signed everything. He doesn't let people down

I have multiple questions and want answers for none of them

There's nothing like a brightly lit fitting room to ruin your day

What? These are my emotional support falcons

Nice try, Dr Lecter

The things I'll do for a free 7 day trial of anything, makes me question my one remaining moral

I have more clothes for sleeping in, than all other items combined which tells you everything you never needed to know

Jesus take the wagon wheel

I want to be invited to everything but have a good excuse to not go

There isn’t anything I like enough, to want to announce it via bumper sticker

Bring back walking the plank for people who leave long voicemails

Since gaining weight, I can communicate with the dead. I've gone from a small to a medium

Forget wine and chocolate, I want an army of rabid capybara

"Quality not quantity" I gently whisper, tucking my followers into bed

There's nothing like a Sunday to make me want to break into a lion enclosure dressed as a philly cheese steak

*Setting sail* when does the pilot get here?

knuckle tatts; [MORE] [CAKE]

I fear shark attack maybe irrationally for someone who lives two hours from the coast

*Boarding aircraft* can we make a quick stop for pizza?