Tusk Jenkins

The classic line from last night's dream was "green people is chicken" like even anything goes can't have original ideas from nowhere anymore

Doc says it's the little hall monitors that make the blood line up to go out but an extra pair of snitches from the tattletale machine said I musta got that paper cut on the frenzied bridal bouquet toss last day of MASH game future school

Just when you thought you couldn't trust the world any less, a stranger says to the shadow behind you "Nothing will ever be between us, not even this super pathetic and cynical wall of doubt" and that refers to the even more qualified cynical wall of doubt breaking up with you

Doctor: How's your meme health Phone: Pretty terrible but isn't everything pretty terrib- Doctor: Did you just Batman interrupt slap yourself Phone: [toddler runs into the room does uh oh face and runs back out gif]

I've been too lucky upon gravity to ever complain about anything but I will make flying saucer distress calls when it gets too repulsion on real magnet wives

Scrawling "being a non-newtonian fluid at the time of the murder is no alibi" into concrete evidence

I wander off like a butterfly net then you wander in like an exploratory surgery. If you're not waiting out my collection and I'm not escaping your findings is there a chance we're working together? It might explain our hobbies being connected by fate's nervous two stomach system.

Had I known we were immortal I would have chosen a better thing than framing any receipt that is naturally issued as an 8x10 glossy

One little thing can ruin your whole day, and that thing is an ant leaving chemical nags for other ants to fix your collar and smooth down your cowlick

When you see something that shouldn't be there and it makes you doubt reality for a second "Does Clerks exist across all realms of possibility because there's this one famous line"

Scientists say a lot of things but never in a kazoo, never in a harmonica. Once did they fail at these and twice did they then realize how little they knew of the simple act of breathing or stamina or practicing for a kiss under guise of a hootenanny

Likes happen in threes. Total.

Fell off the scaffolding of your heart trying to recreate that one scene from Rush Hour 2 in your heart

If I just say thank you even when it's a little weird then I don't actually say anything weird, see please, nice day

When it's good to hear from you it's too much, I have to slow things down to the sound of a phonograph losing power. It still gets me but at least I'm paused in a groundbreaking video that MTV doesn't remember how to show you

The daily I love you took me five tries today because my starting words are always "does the sincerity of silence mean nothing"

Everything is heavy nowadays, even just singing "how do you solve a problem like falsetto" for a room shaking laughter with baritones. Introducing the new collection of vocal range emojis available wherever text is preferable to heavy and musicals

When I'm with my punk friends I have to put barbed wire around my heart in case the safety pins remind me of a baby

If we met in a dream I would only tell you everything. How I am not even real when you truly are, why I am more nerves than sand, when that's possible in a literal one but not a figurative sense. Please though gtfo of my personal "hourglass watching asmr session" at the starbucks