notes for therapy

my dog thinks it's cool when I drink a bunch of water and jump up and down to make sloshing sounds, even if I throw up

another day, another who tf kneecapped me in my sleep

I can't today. I have to change my clothes until they're comfortable and it's not working

global mental collapse should be called the Not Great Depression

I say I'm okay with change but the third time my schedule is changed someone's head explodes and I can't be responsible for whose it is

how was headache + sneezing not a finishing move in mortal kombat

a woman posted a pic in a group chat of a baby turkey she bought thinking it was a chicken. She captioned the pic "IS THIS A TURKEY?!?" Anyway, I haven't been here because I've been yelling IS THIS A TURKEY at everything. You should try it

sure, social media is a maze and we're mice stuck inside, but don't worry, any minute now I bet they're going to give us a piece of cheese

Siri, my friends form an alert circle around me when anything bad happens. Am I a young elephant?

Get creative if you're going to insult me. Say something like she has very little asbestos in her popcorn ceiling

what if in bed when the urge to 'nacho' strikes, what then

I think I'd rather have a social network that's all about giving crows gifts and posting pics of the gifts they bring in return

*covered in festering wounds and struggling to breathe in a flooded wasteland while the world keeps falling apart* hey, does anyone know where i put my sense of humor?

Please help me wish a happy bday to my dear friend @nursemurderer.bsky.social! She does SO MUCH to encourage and keep me alive while she's struggling with her own serious illness. If you need some snark and sunshine to hype you every day, go follow my girl, Jordan 🥳

I've been listening to the dire wolves howling and they make so much more sense than anything anyone is saying here

have to say my least fav type of guy is Guy Who Replies "Repent!" on Personal Tragedy Posts

Only one more bad day! -Me, taking it one day at a time

Part of me is a kid that hasn't been ruined by life yet, and I know it's still there because when I look at all of the flooding I still think for just a moment, "It's gonna be fine, we will make a paper boat"

why can't tornadoes deliver takeout

have you tried writing in wing dings so the dingbats understand

just some friends and reminders that make me believe in trying one more day @tuskjenkins.bsky.social @capnwatsisname.bsky.social @nursemurderer.bsky.social @benedictsred.bsky.social @ygrene.bsky.social @meantomyself.bsky.social

my writing was called drivel by a man who speaks like Mr Darcy and idk if I've ever felt so flattered by a hater before

skeletons do so much, i don't think we show them enough gratitude

I got in the shower. A large spider jumped in. I got out, toweled off, and walked away. This is called Nope Not One More Thing

when i grow up i want to stop spilling things on my clothes