Deep Thoughts

I think I'll go to bed early tonight. That way, I can get up bright and early to start hating on everything first thing in the morning

If you have nothing nice to say, just say it on Bluesky

***lips on microphone Whoever was in charge of telling me it was National Apple Dumpling day yesterday is fired

I fully erect my middle finger in your general direction

Wait. Your insta is just screenshots of your X? Wtf?

Farting is just a scheme created by big hot air

Okay. Thanks, reply guy

I only go to gas station bathrooms in hopes of meeting the gatekeeper

I remember back in the day when edibles were underwear

It's okay to be happy, just not online

How would I really know this is a Western omelet? Could be an eastern

Our friendship is void if you add me to a group chat

I only need two more people to complete this love triangle

I bet you would reskeet something just to win a prize

Nah, I'll just seize it tomorrow

Who up gettin jiggy wit it?

I'm self medicating with salmon

I saved my last Red Bull for this?