Papa Bangers

SNL writers room right now

Hegseth has been confirmed so I’d just like to say it’s been an honor being alive with all of you. this guy is going to make us nuke something

I don’t have insomnia, I have anxiety. I am very tired but then also my brain says we are being hunted

sweet joke you just posted on the internet, be a shame if someone took it 100% serious and responded like your grandma on facebook

I’ve never seen Sabrina Carpenter build a single piece of furniture

office jobs are so fake, like what do you mean i need to hop on this virtual call to send an email summary to report on the progress of the meeting covered in the email summary to open a jira issue for the upcoming sprint to fix the issue the customer highlighted 4 years ago

I think at this point I can confidently say anyone still using Twitter/X regularly is someone I don’t want to know. There is no defensible excuse anymore. Leave the platform.

o b e y the r o d e n t for he controls the weather

tiktok users flocking to rednote is so funny. what do you mean the US government was like "it's a data and influence machine we can't let you use tiktok!" and we all went "I'm gonna give my data to china even harder now"

I lose roughly 1-5 followers every time I post photos of babygirl worf and what that tells me is you lack honor

unprecedented times? more like i hate it here times

Bluesky banning LibsOfTiktok just make me love it here even more

The post-it on my dads computer monitor with his bank password

Being on Bluesky has alerted me to the fact that without an algorithm to force my posts in your feed I’m simply not that popular. Threads does a great job at making you think you are more impactful than you actually are. Thankful for the folks who do interact though. I appreciate you 💜

rfk jr is health secretary so I guess this is a lot more likely of an outcome

please

state of the union? bad. saved you the watch.

when I die please melt the microplastics in me and make a Lego brick. thx

ⓘ this account is considered a cry for help