☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️ Feeds Stats
- 💙 Liked by 2 users
- 📅 Updated 6 months ago
- ⚙️ Provider skyfeed.me
tera-cotta feed Likes over time
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I'm an over-explainer (I explain things too much)
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I had to explain to my class what a phonebook was so now I need to retire.
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Sometimes I don't use my wipers fast enough because I don't want to seem dramatic to the other drivers.
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"please don't give me the ball, please don't give me the ball"
-memories of playing high school sports
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ha! I get it, now! (quickly scrolls back up to like and repost that skeet)
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let's take away the voicemail option
we have the technology
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apparently I'm "yes I want a receipt" years old
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*me brushing my daughter's hair
my watch: are you working out?
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My mom was cooking eggs, chicken, veggies, and rice for her dogs and I just stared at her, remembering all the hamburger helper I ate as a kid.
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I miss the days where my cucumber melon body spray gave me all the confidence I ever needed.
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Blocking them isn't enough. I hope they get unexpected guests.
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me, teacher: *opens my 2 p.m. energy drink can at my desk
student, whispers: Was that a beer?
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In my classroom I have a drawer for each color of sharpie and my post-its are stacked up and evenly squared off.
At home, we're drinking out of pickle jars bc someone didn't start the dishwasher.
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On the plus side, all the follows from Alexxxandra and Co is really helping with my self esteem issues.
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"As much as we try, we are not the same." I say to my husband as I watch him put ketchup on his gravy.
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I always check on the non existent cake in the oven when the dryer timer goes off.
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"They even got the music right," my 7yo loudly whispers excitedly for the second time during the Minecraft movie.
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Pray for me-my husband ate too much and now his belly hurts.
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I'll probably die at work. No one on my emergency contact list will answer an unknown number.
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He says he didn't start the fire, but was Billy even brought in for questioning?
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If you don't give me at least 72 hours notice to research the parking situation of the event you're inviting me to, I'm not going.
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I love when April Fools' Day lands on a school day
-said no teacher, ever
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When I die I expect you to Weekend at Bernie me to the gym before my funeral so I look my best in the casket.
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