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- 📅 Updated 10 months ago
- ⚙️ Provider skyfeed.me
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I'm funny? Funny how? Funny like a mysterious forest monster who steals human souls? I'm hungry, come here and I'll make you laugh.
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What is a joke?
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Should you answer rhetorical questions? The answer may surprise you!
No, you shouldn't
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Moe may own a tavern, but everyone knows Sideshow Bob is the true Bartender.
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𝐁𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐞 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐜 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐢𝐠 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐬.
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What a horrible day to know how to read
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Anything can be a magical item for a game if you attach adjectives to it.
-The Spactula of Wanton Destruction
-The Gondola of Broken Dreams
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ႧƎИЯAW ИƎƎ𐐒 ƎVAH UOY .ИOIƧИƎMIႧ ИƎﻼAƧЯOꟻ A MOЯꟻ ƧЯOЯЯOH ƆIMƧOƆ ИƎﻼAWA ⅃⅃IW TI .ЯOЯЯIM A ИI TI ӘИITƆƎ⅃ꟻƎЯ Y𐐒 ƧIHT ႧAƎЯ OT TꟼMƎTTA TOИ OႧ :ИOITUAƆ
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The priest says they're running low on wafers. My world goes black and white. I cut the line and consume his body. Gotta have my Christ™
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You can stop the trolley at any time, because none of this is real. It's just a thought experiment, and you're lost in it, so deep in thought you never noticed the train you were driving has been running over people for the last ten minutes.
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Being good at listening is a curse, but it sure is nice when the screams stop. That's how my book about a serial killer therapist is going to start.
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People are asking me a lot of questions about my every acquisition is a confession shirt that are already answered by my shirt. So I'm having them executed.
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A guy asked me if I wanted a pamphlet and I said brochure.
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*An elf cop pulls Frodo riding an ent over*
Elf Cop: Where ya going?
Frodo: To throw a ring into a volcano!
Elf Cop: Step out of the treehicle
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Bulls on Parade isn't a song about the Chicago Bulls winning the NBA championship and that's bullshit.
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As a musical artist, 50 Cent will always change or maybe he's just change I'm not sure.
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I may be turning 41 in a few hours, but I got new Pikachu pajama pants because I'll always be a kid at heart.
Mostly because I'm draining children of their youth energy like some Sailor Moon villain or a weird real life billionaire.
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If you're a mime you don't have to tell me
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A hitman misheard Take Me Out To The Ballgame and ended up assassinating the stupid mascot.
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I'll never be an alpha male because I don't understand Greek
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At 6k followers I will consume entire galaxies and become a terrible cosmic horror
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F is for friends who do stuff together
U is for united against the capitalist overlords
N is for no oligarchs surviving
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Nice Hadron Collider you got there, nerds. It’d be a shame if someone were to... crash into it. Anyway, do we exchange insurance information now?
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Someone asked me the hang out and I told them I don't appreciate their gallows humor.
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