tweeps

California: The Rawdog State

“You’re so weird” #ShitMyWifeSays when I told her I didn’t know the cool s in school

Joke's on you. I'm not even interested in my own opinion.

If you can't handle me at my worst (casual references to obscure things) You don't deserve me at my worst (even more casual references to obscure things)

The further I’ve gotten away from creating art, the less alive I feel.

donuts are just edible mood rings

a rather plump raccoon is emerging from a cabinet beneath a kitchen sink with a look on its face like, “yeah i’m here, what’re u gonna do about it?” one front paw is flat on the cabinet bottom and the other is curved to grip the edge of the cabinet. whiskers curled cutely downward.

Hands off our grub, ladies.

Is America holding auditions for the next Lee Harvey Oswald yet?

I'm trying to milk these almonds but I don't think my fingers are tiny enough also where is the nipple

worst place to get in an argument has to be in a pool. how do you even storm out of that? forcefully wade? butterfly??

Romance is dead. I killed it. Stabbed it in the heart 57 times. I love you. Just Monika. Just Monika. Not Sayori. Just Monika. Not Yuri. Just Monika. Just Monika. Just Monika. Just Monika. Just Monika. Just Monika.

It's after midnight. I hate you. You are a gremlin and I'm giving you water. I'm hydrating you to life. I still hate you. You make me wanna destroy the World of Balance. I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE YOU. I am a fallen angel.

At this point I'll be disappointed if the van actually has puppies in and not chloroform

Is it a new cafe? What is kelch? More questions than answers.

So everyone was kidding about that whole Pope Pizzaballs thing right

Am I good person? No Am I person? Yes Am I an owner of a lonely heart? No Am I a band? No Am I a band named Yes? Also no Am I listening to Roundabout? TO BE CONTINUED

Who is Hoagie?

What idiot called it morning wood instead of daily affirmation.