enjoy the process

*crosses Velcro shoes into an X to feel wild again*

“Someday I’ll show my teen a video they haven’t already seen before,” I whisper into my morning coffee.

age verification? i have a members only jacket hanging in my closet and started my peanut butter addiction with Reese’s Pieces while watching E.T. in the theatre.

Just told my dog she’s going to go first in double Jeopardy since she has the lowest score. It’s like she doesn’t even care.

Hate when book reviews restate the entire plot before sharing their opinion. Oh this is a story about a guy that won’t eat green ham? AND he won’t eat green eggs either?? Grow up. I don’t need a summary of the plot (the book jacket or cover can get me that). JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THE HAM

Me: *minding my own business, trying for a normal day* My Anxiety-Riddled Brain: what if all your favorite, most beloved book characters are all MAGA

every warped headline/ad for me lately: “Study Shows That People Who [insert my latest super toxic trait] Are More Intelligent!”

My new dentist can see me the day after tomorrow… what sorcery is this? Am I in an AI ad?? I reserved the month of September for this. I NEED MORE TIME

my Bullshit Meter Detector is in prime working condition, please help me

I’m sorry I shapeshifted into a hermit crab and scuttled quickly and quietly over to a corner when you asked how my weekend was, but why did you do that?

I don’t know if I have a crush on you or if you’re just there and I’m like ‘oh’.

*dancing into your heart like a sunflower in plants vs. zombies*

Me: The book was better Them: [laying next to me in bed] wait what

But have you tried reading a book about it?

In Sixteen Candles when Molly Ringwald says "me?" and looks around, except me when I'm at a four-way stop sign and the other cars are all like "Yeah you"

Found a fast food style restaurant today that specializes in chicken salad. Was so excited that I almost turned to the several 80 and 90 year olds in line with me to ask “is this heaven?!” but didn’t want them to think they’d died. Would’ve been funny though.

I’m not journaling, I’m trying to slowly destroy this pen using words. It’s complicated.

“One way or another I’m getting my lawn back,” sighed the suburban homeowner while the entire world, society and climate crumbles horrifically around them.

Me: Be bold and proud! Don’t let the world dull your sparkle! Also me: [subtly mumble-sings when someone pulls up next to me at a stoplight]

Started fake-gagging every time I saw a cybertruck as a joke, but now my body does it naturally when one passes by. No thinking involved. The lesson is, with enough passion YOU TOO can train your mind and body to do delightful, fun things.