Top Skeets by Beave

People who invite that creepy Elf on the Shelf into their home clearly haven’t watched enough horror movies.

Here’s a photo of my cat trying to catch a bubble. You’re welcome.

Me, being high: sometimes I feel like I want to eat colours Skittles scientist: YES

My favourite ripple in time.

Reflect on yourself before you wreck yourself.

Bluesky is fun because your posts either get 2,000 likes or 2 likes now—there’s no in-between.

Buying a book after not yet reading any of the five I bought last week, as a little treat.

Welcome to your 40s, where drinking caffeine past 8 pm is considered partying.

I basically visited a Bob Ross painting.

Every time I accidentally see the news, I have to take my inner child to the bookstore for an overpriced latte and an emotional support book I’ll pretend I have time to read.

Of course I have friends—they’re called books, plants, and pets.

My gut microbiome is 60% Cheeto dust, 30% everything bagel seasoning, and 10% pure spite.

Oh deer

I only watch South Park for the american politics updates. it’s like the news but honest.

Tallulah is back on her big stick bullshit.

Your body, my wood chipper.

Gardner math is considering the vegetables you spent $1000 to grow as free.

Congratulations to Bluesky on reaching 6 million accounts and 26 active users!

Petting my cat on my chest, realizing he’s basically a tiny puma who could attack my face if I displease him. And yet I keep feeding him so he can grow strong enough to maybe kill me in my sleep one day.

It’s a beautiful day in the neighbourhood.

I’m not single and ready to mingle, but I am unclaimed and moderately deranged.

Thank you Air Canada for the strike. Both my bosses are stranded until next week and I’ve never believed in unions more.