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  • đź’™ Liked by 14 users
  • đź“… Updated 5 months ago
  • ⚙️ Provider skyfeed.me

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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
about 14 hours ago
hour 7 of hosting an audit got me like
white woman with red hair and red glasses and septum ring with hand in front of face looking like she’s lost it
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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
1 day ago
watching the reality game show on netflix called secret millionaire and I feel like every person on the show looks like someone else that has been on tv. this made me think maybe we’ve seen what all people could possibly look like at this point.
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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
1 day ago
today’s workout brought to you by antidepressants tbh bc at this point idk wtf else, oh this bathing suit is too big, and the cardigans
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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
1 day ago
okay srsly I can’t even get past opening scene of recent episode! THIS IS TRASH. the montage of her slowly taking off to save everyone AGAIN and closeups and nope. I wont complain anymore bc im done.

we are all just hate watching handmaids tale at this point, right? like 6th season is real bad. I can’t help but blame moss bc she’s directed these eps and she started directing them season 4 when the show shoulda ended already.

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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
1 day ago
hello hi I owe around $65k in student loans (i’m a research nurse that literally saved lives with novel oncology treatments) and paying $750/month has somehow got me owing more than my original loan. also FUN BONUS the money all goes to fund israel military.

Women stand to suffer the most from the fallout, with the gender pay gap compounding payments for women over time. As it is, women with bachelor’s degrees graduate owing $2,700 more on average than men do.

www.teenvogue.com

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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
1 day ago
all hail queen gladys
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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
2 days ago
what. i’m just waking up, but what? we are going to pause a “war” for a few days to commemorate another war? WHAT IS EVEN REAL I HATE IT HERE

Putin declares 72-hour May ceasefire in Ukraine war to mark WW2 anniversary

www.theguardian.com

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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
3 days ago
she’s a 10 but she used to like men.
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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
3 days ago
if you’re in LA and looking for an awesome queer masked home visit stylist, I love mine! tell them jordan sent you 🩷
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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
3 days ago
YOU RAN OVER THAT CHILD AND SHES BLEEDING OUT AND THEY KNOW YOU HAD DRINKS AT LUNCH *child pops up from street and it’s actually peter dinklage wearing a wig and a dress and justin timberlake comes out from behind a tree and they both yell in unison* “MTV GOT YOU!”
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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
3 days ago
walter showed me this was his thing when he was a little bb kitteh and he still demands it every day. he wants his belly rubbed while he marches on a fuzzy blanket, and it’s a whole ordeal especially when i’m on teams calls.
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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
3 days ago
wearing this on a shirt and walking into flight academy schools asking where to register

I can barely hold myself together, let alone a plane

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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
3 days ago
someone replied “lol” to one of my posts, which, thanks. but to the 3 people who hearted their lol, you’re the real special ones.
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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
4 days ago
caturday for glady and walter! swear we didn’t rehearse the wink from walter when I said he had his own bed. it is his improv skills that get him cast, his good looks are a bonus.
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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
4 days ago
I put my pants on like everyone else: while crying that we can’t seriously have to do this anymore.
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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
4 days ago
this is like the hundredth thousandth day that my cats didn't make me breakfast.
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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
4 days ago
today’s workout brought to you by friday vibes, the sun poking out from the clouds every once in a while, binging the diplomat (it is good!), and our queen, fiona apple.
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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
5 days ago
boss: do you have that presentation ready for the ceo? me, watching my cat roll a chopstick across the floor: not yet.
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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
5 days ago
i’ve never met a squirrel I didn’t want to start a business with
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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
5 days ago
remember when music had a message, and it meant something? I was raised on poetic notes like GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT TIL YOU BLEED
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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
5 days ago
today’s workout brought to you by controlling what I can (me), protecting my time and energy, a much needed video chat with a rad friend🩷, and notorious BIG
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jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
6 days ago
my speed dating for turtles business didn't do so well.
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