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Forgive the earnest post here, but one year ago this week, Global Tetrahedron took over The Onion. We've since brought back the paper and ONN, dramatically increased revenue, and hired more writers and artists.
But most importantly, as other places debased themselves, we refused to bend the knee.
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this is precisely how twitter would have been in germany in the 1940s
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if a guy says theyre CIA and they want you to DM every girl you ever jacked off to and apologize, Its a scam. Just ruined my life. Thank you
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voters just want to be taken seriously and treated like adults
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the poor foster dog is terrified of the coffee grinder. i feel the need to explain. “these are the beans you have to drink when you are a person,” i say. “sometimes things are very very bad. but then the beans happen and it is good.” i can tell she understands
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Stealing kids and secretly shipping them to a foreign country is the definition of child trafficking, isn't it.
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This whole clip is truly unbelievably great. I am genuinely astounded by how good this is.
Acyn@acyn.bsky.social
Pritzker: The reckoning is here. And now that this culture of timidity is on display, these same do-nothing Democrats want to blame our losses on the defense of Black people, trans kids, and immigrants, instead of on their own lack of guts and gumption.
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lol this guy isn't even gonna win his seat in Parliament back? Eat an apple about it loser.
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But we're going to have beautiful empty shelves and it's something I think you'll be seeing very soon. We won't be the country of clutter anymore. [doing accordion hands] it's called minimalism. Ok?
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The Canadian election result shows that the 2024 US election might have gone very differently if American voters could somehow have known in advance what it would be like to have Donald Trump as president
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Busta Rhymes we once again should have heeded your wisdom
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americans coping over the canadian comservative loss is sustaining me, i wanted this for us in 2024
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remembering when democrats elected him house oversight chair over AOC 2 months ago talking about him like this
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video games were never meant to be 100 GB
years of research yet no real-world use found for 4k textures
wanted good graphics anyway, as a joke? we had a tool for that: it was called imagining that the game looked like the manual art
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in honor of the onion being under new management, here’s the Smartest Man In The World making another Wonderful Prediction a year ago
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Interesting how everyone yells at me when I say something stupid but nobody compliments me when I go a whole day without saying something stupid
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Was the person who came up with “whoopsie daisy” the same person that said “toodle-loo” or were they just soul mates
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