SVU Future Drugs

the future is already here #SVUFutureDrugs www.scmp.com/news/hong-ko...

“Warner says the kid OD’d on some new street drug called ‘Puzzle Muffins’. It’s a nootropic from dark web made outta Fondue cheese and jawbreakers. Captain says traffic control caught him down by Fiterman Hall screaming that the fireflies had too many ankles.” #SVUFutureDrugs

“Warner says the kid OD’d on a mix of hydrogenated crushed red pepper and WD-40. DEA says it’s Schedule I opioid off the dark web called ‘Piscataway Bonewax’. Stabler says they found him down in Red Hook Park biting his elbows and screaming that the guacamole had attitude.” #SVUFutureDrugs

“Warner says the kid OD’d on a mix of hydrogenated crushed red pepper and WD-40. DEA says it’s Schedule I opioid off the dark web called ‘Piscataway Bonewax’. Stabler says they found him down in Red Hook Park biting his elbows and screaming that the guacamole had attitude.” #SVUFutureDrugs

“IDK guys, this one feels different. Warner says the kid OD’d on a mixture of recycled crab leg shells and strawberry Nesquik. Word on the street is it’s a nootropic from the dark web called ‘Jersey City Crab Cakes’. They found him off Canal screaming that toys can’t be trusted.” #SVUFutureDrugs

“IDK guys, this one feels different. Warner says the kid OD’d on a mixture of recycled crab leg shells and strawberry Nesquik. Word on the street is it’s a nootropic from the dark web called ‘Jersey City Crab Cakes’. They found him off Canal screaming that toys can’t be trusted.” #SVUFutureDrugs

“Kid’s a schizoid. Apparently, he got ahold of some new drug the streets are calling ‘Cadillac Tapioca’. Warner says it’s a nootropic from the dark web made outta WD-40 and potato salad. Stabler caught him down off Baxter & Grand screaming that the koalas need more hang time.” #SVUFutureDrugs

“Cap, you gotta take a look at this. Warner says the kid OD’d on some new drug the streets are calling ‘Motorola Hot Links”. It’s a nootropic from the dark web made outta MDMA and andouille chicken sausage. Stabler says they caught him off Adams screaming that the phones had teeth.” #SVUFutureDrugs

“Listen up. We got a doozy here. Warner says the kid OD’d on a mix of fermented pickle juice and ambien. Word on the street is it’s a nootropic from the dark web called ‘Shanghai Hangtime’. Apparently they caught this kid down off Canal screaming that the pandas had hammers.” #SVUFutureDrugs

“Kid’s wacked out of his mind. Says his teacher gave him some pills to help him focus but turns out they were laced with Comet and quinoa. Word on the street is it’s called ‘Booster Nuggets’. Caught the kid doing the Cupid shuffle in the janitor’s closet ranting about cold s’mores.” #SVUFutureDrugs

“...so you don’t know anything about the pervert running around the lower East side wearing a Moose backpack and stickin his jimmyjohn in open mailbox slots? Something tells me you’re not a very good liar.” #SVUFutureDrugs

“...so you don’t know anything about the pervert running around the lower East side wearing a Moose backpack and stickin his jimmyjohn in open mailbox slots? Something tells me you’re not a very good liar.” #SVUFutureDrugs

@chaclo.bsky.social #SVUFutureDrugs feed is so hilariously UNHINGED. LMFAOOOOOOOO

“Beach cops have no idea what hit ‘em. Warner says the results match a nootropic from the dark web called ‘Montana Crab Cakes”. It’s made outta sustainably sourced wood-chip mulch and Old Bay. Patrol says they found dude behind the surf shop yelling that the cars had rabies.” #SVUFutureDrugs

“Beach cops have no idea what hit ‘em. Warner says the results match a nootropic from the dark web called ‘Montana Crab Cakes”. It’s made outta sustainably sourced wood-chip mulch and Old Bay. Patrol says they found dude behind the surf shop yelling that the cars had rabies.” #SVUFutureDrugs

Here is the #SVUFutureDrugs feed bsky.app/profile/did:...

“Warner says the kid OD’d on a mixture of Pop Rocks and unfermented Pepto Bismol. Word on the street is it’s called ‘Catalina Island Crack’. Munch says they picked him up off 6th & Waverly screaming that the straws were biting back.” #SVUFutureDrugs

“Warner says the kid OD’d on a mixture of Pop Rocks and unfermented Pepto Bismol. Word on the street is it’s called ‘Catalina Island Crack’. Munch says they picked him up off 6th & Waverly screaming that the straws were biting back.” #SVUFutureDrugs

“Warner says the kid OD’d on some new drug the streets are calling ‘Tampa Bay Tampico’. It’s a nootropic from the dark web made outta prescription cough syrup and industrial strength lighter fluid. Munch says they found him down off Canal doing burpees for spare earring backs.” #SVUFutureDrugs